Forgotten

Have you shed tears for a love
That you were never given
Never allowed to feel
Or claim?
But that which was rote learnt
As something duty bound
And existent.
Without its reality being expressed?

To be told we're bound
We are one
Members of a family
A selfsame clan
To be a part
But never understood
Never acknowledged
One's person hood.

Is that love
Is that myth
I have a question.

And it pains me.
For unsheathing it
Would open up
Pandora's box.
All my troublesome love
Let me lock it up.

Throw away the key.
That's how we live.
We forget.
If we can't forgive.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016

Mooning away

Saddle up, my fine dream horse,
And take me a dancing tonight
The mood's  just right
The skeletal moon
screams white...
Take me back and faraway
to my unhurried unplugged
childhood days
My little girl world,
My mysterious island
Wherein I scrawled
My sweetest thoughts
In softest sand.

It's over and above
My frenzied eyes,
Tears streaming
I am watching a wisp
Of cloud clothe the
Nonchalant moon
And the winged shadow
Of a silent bird
Gliding like silk
Over the cryptic
tombs of Heaven.

The silence is dark and vast
The world is a dream yet to come
The moon shouts a single silver
Word, obscene or obscure,
Over and over again.

Take me back
Take me black
Into the night pitch.

Take me whole
Swallow me
Into the mystery.

Not a woman tonight, no
Clever girl no longer,
A simple homely waif
Am I.
Beloved of the elves.

And I want to rest
In my encrusted crypt.
The words are insufficient
Too crisp.
Too fresh.
While my insomniac thoughts fly
Erratic cryptic
Into complicit winds
Of change.

Never Mind.
I am not going to
Endure this polygamous state
This Duality of minds,
This betrayal is
Too beautiful to enact.

Never Mind.
I will put out on display
My trivial baubles
My brassy barnacles,
Withdrawing my distress.

No mind
No dream.
No address.

I live in Neverland.
On the cusp
Of moon song days.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016

The Way

My place is at your feet lord
When they mock
Even my identity
Till I doubt  my being,
Like they want me to.

Confusing soul shattering aimlessness
Invalidated, invaded
I become a tight wadded
Ball of pain adrift through
A tumbling universe.

I wander inside
Round and round
Succubus spin
Of black hole merry go round
Contracting carousel
Of my syncopated
carnival mind.

And I find my place
At your feet Lord.

I may have lost sight
Poise, purpose,
I may despise
My reasons for existence
But I find my place still,
At thy base,
And it exists,
In the sanctuary
The sanctum sanctorum
Not of church or temple
But in inner Holiest
Of Holies,
Secret  still Waters
Of my wayward mind.

What I have lost
I regain
In tears
In memories
In hurts
In acceptance
They remain birdsong
Susurrating, 
Soothing bewilderment.

Aches resonate
My tryst with such harsh friends
Is lifelong
They're the anchor
I place my trust in them
My smile, softest buoyancy
Bails me out of
Tempestuous waves.

Lord accept my trust.

My Truth.

My Life.

My Faith.

In myself.

You have created me
In your dream image.
The ideal of perfection
Made reality.
You have shown me
The Holy Grail.
The Grace
Of believing...

I am,
Myself,
The way...

(c) Amrita Valan 2016

Nonsense Rhymes on Demonetization

Hooby Dooby Doo.
Half a penny for you
If you can jump the queue
Step up shape up
India Shining Ahead
Don't get bedazzled
By the view.

Half a penny more
For a sour dough bun
Dodge through the gates
By half past one
Don't bother with lunch
Big monetary crunch
Rumble on tummy
Cashier brother
Thanks a bunch

The pink slip crisp
In ny calloused hand
My job intact
I am Cashless Alice
With a few pink slips
Roaming wonderland.

To market to market
To buy me some rice
500s and thousands
Have lost legal alibis
Hundreds are honey bees
Difficult to trap
Two thousand rupees
Can only fetch
Clothing from Gap.

I count my fifties
I count my tens
God bless twenties
And fivers even
As for Hero Hundred
I thank Him
On my knees
Narendra Modiji
Some more my way please?

Debilitation
Deliberation
Demobilization
Decimation
Determination
For declarations
Death of Humdrum
Docile Nation
Dramatic Days of
Demonetization.

He came he came
On 8th to Bangalore
She left She left,
Theresa of English Shores.

What was the fruit?
Their discreet discussion bore?
Tell us we want answers,
But the tellers know no more.

The cash alas
Was sentenced to sudden death
At the stroke of midnight
500s and thousands were shed.

They're shredding!, They're shredding,
After all the Richie Riches,
Prepaid the pipers
For Big Fat weddings.
And got their papers, in order
Neat and  ready
To do their bidding.

Our country's torn down to a
Cash stripped Holy Cow
Of querulous sentiments
While steadily sounds
The note of our currency tearing
Declared contraband, without a hearing.
With heavy hearts
In our confessional lands
We wait with avid digits
And as yet empty hands
They're busy now
Shredding our lives away
Digital India
Stuck on the
Rutted highway.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016

Sirocco

Sirocco.
Hot whistling
Lust lava in the wind.
Piercing my lungs
Lacerated sand blasts.

My numb shoulder blades
Cutting the
edges of my
Desperation.
Bowing to
This defining wind.

Destroyer
Utterly destroy me.
Rebuild my ashes
Into your choice compost.
Spread eagle me
Out to the elements
On your
Winds of change.

Leave no trace
Of this faulty alloy
But recover
The essence of
My base elements.

Sirocco
I'm a survivor of despair.

Reuse me better
Than this time.

My friends
Are lascivious leaves
And they're chuckling
Rustling for one
Last dance with me.

Adagio
I bow to thee master
Spin me faster
One last time.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016

Everything so Hollow

Everything so hollow
Such an overflow of sound
Everyone so merry
Smiley bandages
On wounds.

One heart of mine says
Braver be
Brace yourself
Enjoy thus
Whatever may come
Just let it be.

And one part of me
Breaks
Each piece more beautiful
Than any poem
I have written
Like a hopeless mirror
it gazes, piercing my soul's
Mazes,
Shards of sanity
Abandoning futility.

And the sigh
Would break
Your empty room.

So let me bow out
With my heart
Of gloom.

See me
A happy profile
In happening times,
My feet are skimming, dead
Weight of collapsed tears.

Flooded floors.

I shall not escape.
Let me
Close the door.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016

For the Poets

Coming back full circle
To mother ship
My favorite anchor
Safe harbour
On Facebook.

I am trying something
I don't understand
Poet's need a cornerstone
For their faith.

This forum
Became family.
Thank you for
Reality checks
For restoring
My sanity.

Uncritically receiving
Mind orgasmic epiphanies
The Creative urge
To discover
Roots of disaffection
To explore and explain
The disconnects
Between logic and Faith
Between love and it's reason.
To unravel the enigma
Of ecstasy
Discarding
Disenchantment.
 
I am dreaming
May flowers
December roses

I'm dreaming
Autumnal hallows
Bewitching covens

I'm dreaming
My innocent
Inner spring tides.
My April heart breaks
My October follies.

Poetic pastors and shepherdesses
You're the many branches
Of this beautiful tree of verse
I let go of
My fastidious bough
And descend
For your lovely arms
To catch me.

I fall through faraway lands
See fairy tales,
femme fatales and
Rapacious pirates,
A thousand ships
Doomed to
Sloops of war
Passing
Through dreary nights

My dreams are of
White knights
Upon black steeds
Unicorn horns crowned
With nuggets and pearls
Of wisdom.

I find The entire
Treasure trove here

My bridal trousseau
And finery.

For I'm wedded
To poetry.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016