Regret

Ether is touched
By my tender regret
Brushing coldest mist
Upon my autumnal back
My aching knees
Throbbing the beat of my heart
Oh the long walk home.

Masters of the blue sky
Creases my skin
Smiles seeping in
Cold blue sky sunshine
But those are yesteryear Sundays
And I must live my time.

I miss something
Its faint tendrils curl the breath
Of my air
My breath is conditioned
By such controlled disgust.
Because I could not control myself
I wear my harlequin disquise
Disqualified for rescue
By my fake pretence and pride.

My home walks with me.
Psalms in my palms
Tight as chest full of prayers
Playfully trotting
Loyal troopers
My sons shine by my side.

Who cares I have no home
Or hope
Or security.
I have forever been alone
A faint spot of sunlit dust
Life swallow me
And spit me out
At will.
In the sea of memories
My seasons submerge
Hopes and alluring illusions
sparkly dream dust
Poof!
Blown away around the empty block
By the master Illusionist.
Invisible and invincible

I hold iron motes inside
Of such stubborn rusty resistance
Blood blooming into belief
that forsaken unforgiven
And forgotten
I am what I am
Never to be again.
So remember me
If you will.

(c) Amrita Valan 2015