I Would

I Would.

It never comes back
The pure moment
Of earnest belief
The feeling
That nothing needs change
To render the moment
More perfect
Than it is.

I take it in my stride
In these trying dying days
Of wading downstream
Shaking the cloggy mud off
Imprisoned heels
For journeys need completion.

If I were to get younger
And not older
Then I would fling off
The youthful inhibitors
Fright pride and ego
I would reject
Both options
Flight or fight
I would choose
Love every time
With joy and accept
pain as a true
friend and teacher.
I would.

I would hold your hands easy
In the softest sinews
Of my heart
And let silence speak
Stormy stories songs of
Passion sorrow and redemption.

I wouldn't mock and jeer
Myself for choosing a morsel of
humble hope over allures of
Vanity fair, and empty
Crumbs of dead dreams.

Opportunities are angels
Offering assistance
And lending broad wings
Soaring on
Winds of change.

I would be peaceful
A prayer of perfect gratitude
For being in an interesting life
But not the picture perfect one.

I would heap marshmallow pillows
Under my head
And dream harmless candy floss dreams.

Of  my love's leonine mane in submissive bow
Hus puppy dog eyes spilling  topaz laughter
Warnings  in warm disarming silence
"Never take me seriously!"

And so heedful would I be
At curtains we would part
Graceful departures of the heart
No grand passion merits
Perpetual rotting, lifelong
Penance for unrequited
Love.

Carpe diem, My diadem,
Crazy pastiche of gems
Some paste and others
Brilliant diamonds freely given.

I would be softer gentler easier
On you, me, us...
The shrill cacophonous world
And should you turn cartwheels
For my attention
I'd shower you with
Hershey kisses
dreamy adulatory indulgence!

Life is the art of basking
In the sunshine of
A perfect dream
On a sunny beach
Where sunset unfolds red silk bolts of passion on the far horrizon on the right
And melts thick gold honey of warm sunrise on the left.

We must be completed.
If for only a day,
Let us still be eager
Flowers of tenderness
Against tough pebbles
Kissing gritty sands
and puckered sea shells
Solicitous seasonal adoration.

Rocking in my heart
Gentle as lullaby
Memories sift snatches
Of magic
Magic sieve moments
That take pride of place
And overthrow all notions
Of either endings
Or defeat.

The body of resilient silence
Cradles my bed
I'm landlocked and have
Lost my address
But you still serenade me
From beyond ice valleys and rifts
Of Titanic graves.

I'm a dream in slow motion
Flipping through distress
My axis of rotation tilted
Hearing strangest music
Like comforting dreams
Waves washing shores
If sanity were no more
I would've been dipping
Bowling over the horrizon
Into worlds of past
Absolution.

If Hades embraced me
I would still take my chance
Life is not of Heaven
Or of hell...

Ever Dipping at the trough
Again riding the crest of waves
And surfing eternally level
With the edge
Drowning all expectations
of static surfaces.

The comfort is
Not in knowing
But in the never knowing.

The knowledge
that there is far more
Beyond this present beachfront,
Of beauty and wonder.

That should a world
Of waves submerge us
Perchance a new Atlantis
May appear.

Thus I am comforted
And crave no more
For the return I crave
Is fated in my helical
Journeys through every
Cell and molecules and atom
Of my life, my being,
and the sherical celestial patterns
and pathways of stellar dust I've trodden
To view and comprehend
All I am comprised of.

The journey once completed
Truly begins.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016