Yesterday

I wish for no more tomorrows
but I wish for yesterday
Oh how I wish and languish
For long gone yesterdays.

Tomorrows may hoard fresh stores of gold
As my precocious  pearls unfold
But how distant their sweet future seems
Like an empty unreal kernel dream

Oh the solid gold of stately yesterday
Oh how in my heart the fronds of memories sway
some recorded treasures
Of touch sight and sound
I wish to close my eyes 
Shroud my heart my mind
Draw blinds of safety
Over this thistledown
Soft fluffy wound.

I have been fulfilled
I have been justified
I crave no more
the wild unknown ride
In my mother's lap and cradle
my own children smile
I couldn't bear it
To watch anymore
Enough to have
Enough to hold
By my side.

Tomorrow foretells
tales so stark
a sparse and austere
Existential dark
A No-morrow
To all I hold dear.

A mother a father
The hallmarks of life
Babies who moulds
A mother out of a wife.

I cannot see more than this
Terror crouches bedded with my bliss
I'm bedded embedded in stone
As the tiger skin rug stirs
Taut upon the floor,
Threat inherent,
Poised, to engulf
This safety vault  life,
Rising howling
The bear grisly
Upon my door....
Blood curdling cries.

No more my days
No more
my gaze fixates
On mellowed memories
Golden haze of timelessness
Yesterdays precious lore. 

(c) Amrita Valan 2016