The Last Samurai

Monday, January 19, 2015

Suryan

The sun was liquid gold in my eyes
A brilliant white coin fringed with a thin gold ring.
And it divided darkness into rays of black shot with white gold brilliance straight as a bolt of bountiful arrows, equal and unwavering.

The sky looked like the sea. Dancing wispy waves of floating clouds.

The sky looked like infinity made interesting by myriad sunbrushed strokes of color.

The sky looked like the gateway to Utopia The promised land the land of milk and honey.

The brilliance was quiet and still as if for us to worship.
As if a portrait was held up to our gaze. With divine purpose.

Adore, adore, adore... wonder at my brilliance.
I know not that I glow.
Be my magnificence, my majestic sentience.
Make my incandescence the light that blazes the darkness of your mind to shreds.

However many gods you create, image and worship, none will give you light like I do till my last day, till my ball of fiery flamboyance, this immense fireplace and hearth of your life is used up...dumb white cinders of End days.

I bowed my head instinctively. O my Eternal life giver, well wisher, benefactor, friend... My heart filling with intuitive reverence.
my mind and soul sparked, illuminated by your radiance .

"Om java kusuma sankyasan
Kashyapeyan maha dyuting
Dhantaaring sarva papagnan
Pranatashmi divakaran..."

To Suryan the sun god:

Om
Crimson blossoming hibiscus
Son of sage Kashyapa great giver of radiance
Destroyer of evil
I touch thy feet with my reverence.

Of course I'm an indifferent translator of this age old sanskrit shloka...but I felt it's power today..in the sun's magnetic gold caress....my apologies for the imperfections.

Negation

Other than writing I have no life
Come on end it
We are going to die.
Even the pro lifers.
Every one talks about that better place
As if they've been there
Lets get there already.

If I were to value and hoard my life like gold
I'll still grow old
Death is the only door with a
Handle on it.
Shall I turn
Will we return
Is there something else

Is there an elsewhere
Clean and simple light and free
Shipping charges on delivery
I'll pay my costs
Fast tracking
The game of living isn't that entertaining
Interesting or edifying
Waiting for my number to be called
Queuing up for death

How dumb! placid sheep
Are we
Fodder to eternity
Why can't I a voyager be
Star trekking to kingdom come?
The only reason people condemn suicide
Is because they're truly scared
There's no afterlife
This is all we've got
Better messy sentient dolls
Than dust under the feet of
Would be Gods...

If this is all I get seventy maybe eighty odd years of existence
A lifetime
Of experience choked out of breath
In the wink of a cosmic eye
Forgotten forever
Life is negative treasure
Valued because there's nothing
Better.

Terribly unhappy write. ..awaiting vitriol. :(

The Valley of Dry Bones

A valley of dry bones
A spiritual dessication
A steady dissipation
A journey without destination
Love without dedication

A valley of dry bones
The heart of a wasteland
Taste of straw in our mouths
The stuffing coming out
The depths of a dilettante
Pity grace mercy peace
Momentary instinct
Too shortlived too scant
To succor our infants

A valley of dry bones
Arranging itself in poses
Stultified and stagnant
A deathbed of Roses

I searched for you in the church
I looked at the spire
The most high was higher than this puddle of iniquity.

A valley of dry bones
Strewn like dead matchsticks
No fire it was stomped out...
Blind candles without wicks

A valley of dry bones
Blindness glistening under
The sun
No burial without understanding
of life and death
All is one.
Withered out of breath souls stultified a deep suffering
without power to cry
A mummification in motion
Without strength to die.

A valley of dry bones
I'm one of them
Pray for me
Your prayers may work
for both you and me
Our prayers are
Inside journeys
Soul meetings
Revelations
Arcs of understanding
Between people different dimensions wandering worlds

Ever wonder how
Words are to be used ?
Usher your wands
Throw wants
To the winds of destiny
Change change
Turn the tables of temptations
Summon your magic
Resuscitate
Bring back to flesh
Your lovely bones of tenderness

Prayers are magic
The divine bargain
Of humanity and the
Price of Salvation.

New Beginnings

Date changes on the calendar
Thrusting us forward
Propellers cutting through time
As far as our utmost breath
Will carry us
Engines revving reviving
Take offs
Landings
Till the runway or the fuel
Ends.

Endeavors towards optimism. ..
Saccharine artifice and sacrilege
Strange and strong resistance
A reluctant movement
Helpless in the face of
Earth's relentless motion
Turning returning
Dating aging

New beginnings?
God I'm not done yet
With the old
So much left undone
That I'm still
chewing upon.

New beginnings?
How should I be?

Better more positive
Less regrets
More fun
Greater goals
Aspirations
New recipes
A job
Rehash forgotten college skills
Driving French Programming

Ha ha! New Beginnings?
Yes...send me back in time
Please.
New beginnings. ..
I want to start afresh

Redo my first days in college
Establish myself
As serious honors student
Wish I hadn't torn up the prospectus of my life
Over a failed affair
Wish I had set sail
On my ship of dreams
Taken more chances
Against tyranny of unfair
Elders unloving brother
Made a marriage
not a gamble
Never capitulated under pressure
Wish I hadn't tried suicide
To see how it felt
To die.

Now it's a toss up

Wish myself again
Life
Death
Or
New Beginnings.

Puff!
Blow out the candles.
The magic dragon
I shall slay.

Okay I will behave.
Let me start
On the smallest scope
Over the slopes of inclinations

I will take up driving
Once again.

I will drive in reverse skid off the eternal parallel railroad tracks back up out of my rut of a life
Ruthless against the winds
Breaking barricades
In defiance
To rules of rote existence.

New beginnings.
I'm no beginner at them.

This time around
I will not forget
To throw
A pinch of salt
Over my shoulders
Damn the Devil
And be responsible for
Happiness.

Camouflage

The mind constantly wants to disrobe itself
Divest itself
From strictures of
Sanity
Discard dress robes
Of uniform
Motley camouflage
Under the armor
An army of pain marches
The heart
Is battlefield

Bearing balls of duress
Wear out thin
The floors of tolerance

If I carry the syllogism
Any further
To its logical conclusion
Then I disrobe sanity

Iet the demons in...
In harlequin
Wickedness

Donning dress robes
ritualistic custom
Drowning oceans of pain
Habitual action
Stretching rictus of smiles
Painting a clownish face
wreathed in pleasantries
Corrective coercive traction

The world wants to see
You
But You
Through the camera's
hungry eyes
Idolatry and adulation

Posed projections
Positives petrified
Framed perfection
Sunny side up
Seamlessly

The silvery charcoal haze of doubtful daguerrotypes
stays firmly inside...

Despair wears glib masks
Of nonchalance
Outside
The darkroom.

The Track of Tears

The strength of a teardrop
Suppressed
It's weight dormant
Upon the unbearable heart
Jaws heavy slackness
from sweet nothings to say
Lips curl in derision
Locker of nothingness.

Rather no kiss than this...
Emptiness
When two minds fail to touch
When they miss
Their mark
of dispelling loneliness

Love is not a head game
A brilliant intellectual duel

Nor is it
lips locked in gluttony
To extract bliss
Only fueling futility
Escalating hunger.

Each tear that drowns my heart
Is the kiss
Of understanding
Compassion contains passion
In itself.

When it recognizes
In another
The same wells of mercy
Two rivers
Run deep
The source is the same.

But dry deserts
Don't deserve tears.
Arid remains
despising rain

Beware
Weary traveler

The wild ride
The Dunes
The golden sands lie still
Touched by life
Charmed to sentient sleep.

Time tired of loneliness
Builds up tiers
Of deception
Lofty Dunes

Desolate winds
Howl
Erase the tracks
Of my tears
And
Your Tale.

Tears. ..A Translation

Tears translate to ink
What the lips clamp down upon
What can only be expressed in
Tears
Become words
Each searing hole in my heart
Glows it's lacerations
On paper.....
Laced together
My pain and hurt
Huddles against the world
You may call it
Poetry.....

I have
Threaded with caution and care
Teased and taught restraint
Taut with tensions
Sublimate of suppression
It is my mind
Moving dancing
The steps of despair
steeped up
The tune is agony in my ears.