Friday, July 15, 2016

Thoughts on Dissent

There are two ways people voice their opinions. One is independently, as a thought strikes them and is then deeply pondered upon.
Or as a voice of assent or dissent to an opinion expressed by another.
There are two reasons I have found for this voiced assent or dissent.
One, when it's deeply against one's intrinsic beliefs and value system, one feels one can and should justify one's stance, in the light of one's value system. Fairly and logically.
That's honest and appreciated. Deeply.

The other is a deeply held bias, for a particular position, and the problem happens when another voice strikes a blow to that long held opinion or belief, deeply shaking it to its very core, or at least striking a dissonant note by a blow of calm logic.
Now if said stance is deeply and emotionally embedded but the rationale for it is flimsy, it still will shake the person unpleasantly since so much has been invested in it emotionally.
So the very reasons that gives a person pause for thought, can make him shout out against that very thought.
I have met one or two over the last few years who periodically and unfailingly emerge from the woodworks, (metaphorically speaking), only to unravel the threads of my "annoying" arguments. At times, they resort to unfair practices like misquoting me. And at others, they edit their own arguments post facto to match and outwit my counter argument.
(One I had previously delivered after reading what they had written.) :)
For these sort of dissenters I'm at a loss. I thank them for the time they expend in reading or dissecting me and my thoughts and sincerely hope they can free up their own made up minds to seek a more perfect balance to both sides of the equation.
It's maths folks not faith.
For all of varying religious persuasions, "while the soul slumbers, God speaks to us in numbers." ;)

Tested

I'm not good at the middle path
though striving for balance is my life's aim
The average is so very mean
I cannot explain how I disdain
and throwing caution to  the winds
willfully err
And  revel in my multifarious  minds.

Yes minds.
Can I keep changing them please?
Constancy and consistency are
Comfort food
Carbohydrate words
That ail unease.

I'm aware how important they're too,
Hell,
It's the choice between the
Forks of diabolical tongue
Double edged sword
Of hooded hydra
Swim under the hood
wearing your outmoded
aqualungs.

The devilish leer implies
All  Choices may lead
to an equitable lie.
The turning point
Is standing still
test your standards
and forge your will.

Sincerely regret being a poseur
A pompous tainted pontifical  empress
An authoritative regal squint eyed queen
Or the people's pop eyed  pin up princess.

And the next montage
In my mulberry bush
Is waiting in the wings
Of temptation lush,
An abject creature
a beggar maid
Slave to emotions
Querulous maiden.

I admire all who float
in perfect equilibrium
Soar and glide effortless
Air their resilient medium
No fear of falling

Neither sinking
Nor in Icarus motion
Gracefully dipping a wing when needed
Baton's twirl  conducting
Cheerleaders of
orderly emotions.

Vainly I try
Shrugging my shoulders
Swallowing fears
suppressed half cries
but I feel it
that shadowy penumbra
I am no flier
must row my boat
Turning around
face the dread belly
Of my darkest umbra.

And the darkness shines.

My courage is noted.
Up above
Unknown God's have voted
In the Clearwater streams
Of my terrified tears
I see ahead
the light is lovely
It smiles
At me...
He cares.
Oh He cares.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Soul Sepsis

He rapes her
He is the father
12 years old
Must she be a mother?

Her baby unviable slowly dying
His ruptured membranes
Spreading poison
Burning, supine his mother lying.

But all the doctors can prescribe
Antibiotics they know are ineffective,
As long as the little heart keeps beating
Can't expedite and terminate
The germ of life
So they feed her placebos with their lies.

Now the mother fights her agonizing fate
O life beautiful, leave not,
But not yet
It's not my time to go
Not my fault, oh no
Don't condemn me
By the decree
Of your blind faith.

Even the nascent soul agrees
Mummy I let go
I have found my wings!

It's not your fault
If they only let you live
I would forgive,
Please believe.

Don't impose your cloistered beliefs
On my sweet mother
Whose life whittles away,
Our septic mottled dreams
Merge together,
Together...
I don't want this septic shroud
For you, my Mother.

Now the genie's unbottled
Unborn baby
Your sweet face unseen
Oblivion's arms caress us
No one knows
what could have been.

Perhaps mercy on a mother
Would have permitted
Your soul's arc 
In sweet return
But men must play God
While I burn, burn, burn.

This is another bride, somewhere, 
Say in India,
Her husband scorns birth control
Rapes countless on her marriage bed
Babies born a swollen incubator's cavalcade
Now she is pregnant yet again,
In middle age
Against her wish
Old out, worn out, torn out
Tired to her core, sold out...
Pity that woman
And pity her midwife's
Bloodied thankless chore.
For the doctors will show
Her to the door.

Every baby deserves it
Growing in safety
To be the Apple of
Mother's eye.

But oh sweet baby
I bid you goodbye
This once

God be with ye
For a child woman cannot be a mother
Not a trampled mangled addled crone
Care for ye.

The child who was not yet
At 17 weeks whose growth spurt
Cut short,
In tenderness conceived,
Destined to be lost,
Realized that his time was spent
Raised eye buds to heaven
Praised the Lord,
His Father heard said Amen.

And recalled him
While puny doctors labored
To preserve a ghost.

Meanwhile,
The living Madonna
Unconscious paled into blue rigid corpse...
Such was a pro life victory,
Love's labor lost,

The cost of a woman,
A sister, wife, a mother,
A daughter lost.

All women are called
To account
Stop martyring your sex
Like ever watchful hounds.
The living pound
Of Most Holy flesh
Which she renounced,
And for which you so chastise,
Was far too dearly bought
And it was her own heartbeat
Her dreaming blood,
Her very life.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016

Monday, July 11, 2016

Shrouded

Diary of a wanna be

Sometimes I look back
At the land left behind
Lord it's so rich.
So fertile
Black fecund soil six feet deep
Most anything could grow there
Or at least creep.

But I crossed that Creek
And I left behind
The fork that, would I
have taken the other path,
Led me to
Who knows what wonderlands
of an onion peel mind
Rich layers of lives in every rind,
But has now for ever
Been left behind.

Take me back
Lord to the then which seems,
like never ending time
And place, within a dream,
Where borders don't bleed decisions,
That change your very state
That small town locale
Where everyone
Was my friend.
The start days sometimes I wish,
That the date would just
Roll back and recede
And some things
Should never ever have to end.

Or happen again
In happiness
And roll each of us
To a more gracious place
Where success need not
Have to beg
For a paltry coin
In the cracked bowl
That lacks surfeit.

Wooden chips
Blank empty slices
Of fortune's failures
Time's cruelty daily dices.

I hope this chip chopped sovereign
Of my work and worth may remain
In your minds
My friends, my only audience
Brave days long ago blazed
But now
Only the empty shadows pain
Streaks of memories
Streaming rain,
Screaming silently,
One must stay sane.

I wanna be
That girl again,,
The whole world
To choose at my feet again
Anything that I want
To be,
Dear Lord,
This time I pray,
Earnestly,
That you
Focus me.

And thus signs off
the diaries of wanna be-s
They never are what they are,
But caught between the hours
And a private place
Only they can see.

I occupy a space,
I berate myself
For ever having brought about,
And every minute is another counted stitch
That I loop and lock
Into my steel warp shroud.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Smoky Eyes

Smudged mystery
Soft shaded gems
Caressing pinpoints allure
Svelte lips parted in
Crescent delight
The smile  incandescent
Limbre alabaster purity
Solitaire adornment
On verdant green.

Charisma crescendos
Amidst nature's backyard
The photograph
Trembles it delight
At subject so pristine
Setting so pretty
Smouldering
Poetry on fire
On magic carpet of green.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Life's Boot Camp

Like hell I will, I won't!
My goals are trivial
My foes surreal
My life been lived
But only a little.
I have dreams stashed,
Frozen and brittle

I check the freezer
I need to know
If they're still preserved
For a future
I will never know.

I compromise
I realize
I'm pseudo
Fake and feigning, a
literary pseudonym,
Licensed to live
Bigger than
My puny dreams.

Till my battery runs out
Life's magic charge rubs off
Aladdin's old tarnished precious
Lamp, and
Discarded for an electric one
That won't go out.

My magic is spare
My carpet too threadbare
To fly through this OCD wilderness
To drink in our breath.
We fell asleep on and off
Dreamings of giants and jolly genies
And fell neatly from the nest
Down on our feet...
The way we know best.

All is good.
Life forgave
All we have to do
Is breathe in and out
Till our lungs are forever smothered
In Alladin's lonely cave.

Mercy.
Is an angel
Called Death.
Who calls without knocking
But is never too late.

How much longer
Will it be?
Trim down your lamp
What will it take
For a soul
To be free
from life's boot camp.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016

Falaasteen

Strangely
.....I don't recall posting or endorsing the views of this striking poem by Gihad Ali. Give me liberty or give me death is not what I endorse. It is not the Gandhian way.
In fact I wrote a poem urging Palestinian mothers to leave with the babes in arms rather than fight for a piece of land which is turning into a slaughter house for their kids. That fight to death for a narrow strip of land is the patriarchal way of seeing things not the matriarchal way of living.
People have forever been dispossessed of their lands, moving on they have found new and better life elsewhere, not stuck in a vicious checkmate.
Sometimes I feel it's a brave and beautiful thing, to give up, and turn around and begin a new life where your babies do not see bloody bombs blossom at their doorsteps.
Of course I love my mother and my motherland to death. Of course if a refugee I would yearn to come back. And find as many legitimate peaceful ways of protest and petitions against oppression. Mahatma showed us the power of non cooperation, urging of other governments to impose sanctions, setting in motion a chain of reactions that reach out to every human heart.
But not this. This shock value of a bloodbath where children are trained to throw stones, are led to the slaughter to fuel international outrage. Because as mothers, as fathers our first duty is providing safety for our children.
Fight to death for liberty becomes our privilege, and not a price we make our children play.
Islamic nations surround Israel on all sides.
Surely all of these sympathetic nations can, if combined accommodate the refugees of a narrow strip of land?
Yes I believe, unless this is become an ego tussle, land over lives issue, where manufactured outrage and outpour of sympathy, is but a vicious urging on of the Palestinians. Die, for die you must, for Falaasteen. We are looking on, we are here, not with arms outstretched, pleading with you to flee to us. But we are here, to cry to weep and scream over your children's graves.

Nevertheless, Mr. Gihad Ali, your definition of a terrorist, touches my heart terribly. All the more reason to take the children, and leave. Syrian refugees have shown the way. How much more terrible and tragic is your plight!
How much greater responsibility to stop this generational bloodbath where the minds of children are becoming warped and skewered in the charnel house of hell itself?

Eye to Eye - by Gihad Ali

Look into my eyes
and tell me what you see.
You don't see a damn thing,
`cause you can't possibly relate to me.

You're blinded by our differences.
My life makes no sense to you.
I'm the persecuted Palestinian.
You're the American red, white and blue.

Each day you wake in tranquility.
No fears to cross your eyes.
Each day I wake in gratitude.
Thanking God He let me rise.

You worry about your education
and the bills you have to pay.
I worry about my vulnerable life
and if I'll survive another day.

Your biggest fear is getting ticketed
as you cruise your Cadillac.
My fear is that the tank that just left
will turn around and come back.

American, do you realize,
that the taxes that you pay
feed the forces that traumatize
my every living day?

The bulldozers and the tanks,
the gases and the guns,
the bombs that fall outside my door,
all due to American funds.

Yet do you know the truth
of where your money goes?
Do you let your media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth that no one knows?

You blame me for defending myself
against the ways of Zionists.
I'm terrorized in my own land
and I'm the terrorist?

You think you know all about terrorism
but you don't know it the way I do.
So let me define the term for you.
And teach you what you thought you knew.

I've known terrorism for quite some time,
fifty-four years and more.
It's the fruitless garden uprooted in my yard.
It's the bulldozer in front of my door.

Terrorism breathes the air I breathe.
It's the checkpoint on my way to school.
It's the curfew that jails me in my own home,
and the penalties of breaking that curfew rule.

Terrorism is the robbery of my land.
And the torture of my mother.
The imprisonment of my innocent father.
The bullet in my baby brother.

So American, don't tell me you know about
the things I feel and see.
I'm terrorized in my own land
and the blame is put on me.

But I will not rest, I shall never settle
for the injustice my people endure.
Palestine is our land and there we'll remain
until the day our homeland is secure.

And if that time shall never come,
then you will never see a day of peace.
I will not be thrown from my own home,
nor will my fight for justice cease.

And if I am killed, it will be in Falasteen.
It's written on my every breath.
So in your own patriotic words,
Give me liberty or give me death.

-Gihad Ali [a volunteer with the Arab American Action Network (AAAN) and the Palestine Solidarity Group, Chicago]