Tested

I'm not good at the middle path
though striving for balance is my life's aim
The average is so very mean
I cannot explain how I disdain
and throwing caution to  the winds
willfully err
And  revel in my multifarious  minds.

Yes minds.
Can I keep changing them please?
Constancy and consistency are
Comfort food
Carbohydrate words
That ail unease.

I'm aware how important they're too,
Hell,
It's the choice between the
Forks of diabolical tongue
Double edged sword
Of hooded hydra
Swim under the hood
wearing your outmoded
aqualungs.

The devilish leer implies
All  Choices may lead
to an equitable lie.
The turning point
Is standing still
test your standards
and forge your will.

Sincerely regret being a poseur
A pompous tainted pontifical  empress
An authoritative regal squint eyed queen
Or the people's pop eyed  pin up princess.

And the next montage
In my mulberry bush
Is waiting in the wings
Of temptation lush,
An abject creature
a beggar maid
Slave to emotions
Querulous maiden.

I admire all who float
in perfect equilibrium
Soar and glide effortless
Air their resilient medium
No fear of falling

Neither sinking
Nor in Icarus motion
Gracefully dipping a wing when needed
Baton's twirl  conducting
Cheerleaders of
orderly emotions.

Vainly I try
Shrugging my shoulders
Swallowing fears
suppressed half cries
but I feel it
that shadowy penumbra
I am no flier
must row my boat
Turning around
face the dread belly
Of my darkest umbra.

And the darkness shines.

My courage is noted.
Up above
Unknown God's have voted
In the Clearwater streams
Of my terrified tears
I see ahead
the light is lovely
It smiles
At me...
He cares.
Oh He cares.

(c) Amrita Valan 2016