The Silk Route

Silk excites me
Bland smooth or crisp and papery
Soft as oil on water, wet velvet
Rose petals soothing.

I want to bathe in
Such silk of oblivion
That will fold me
Into a nonentity
Sunlight will pass through me
Like clear glass.

Hallucinations of solidity
That's what I want
To become.
An acute transparency
Without any depth of revelation.
Light and lovable
Or invisible.

Baggage roots me.
Static upon Sinbad's rock.

The voice I never had
The thought I voice unheard
The pearls of penitence and
Acceptance scattered
Rolling the rounds of dead
Reckoning.

No one heard
Nor any one saw
This silent examinee
Facing her toughest battles
On a blank test paper.
No questions
Yet
We must jot down
Answers

Guess it was written
In invisible ink after all
Guessing so was I
Draped in dead silken
Sheaths of invisibility
Shielded you from me
me from you
And kept me apart
From the land of living
As warning or
Exhibit.

Some might say such obsequious
Silk becomes me
We make each other
Beautiful and obsolete
Obscured by the
Yielding fabrication
Of time
Sashaying down space
Conquering nothing.

The two axes run through
Eternity.
And I never leave the tracks
Or fully live
Embalmed in lilysoft
silk cocoon,
As sweet loss and longing
clothes me.

The silent lands end on which I perch
Is a broken bit of ledge
And already crumbling
Into the cold dark crazy sea
Of never belonging
©Amrita Valan 2015