Pride in Place

Pride denies 
Pride  takes on life
Values itself
At the going rate.
I cannot afford
It's affront to my
Heart.
My heart is a place
Of happiness.

When I'm not seeking looking
Or marking time
Pride is defiant, petty
Wants me to take
Second place
While it roars alive
Its affronted rage
Too proud to appear
Unhappy
Too proud to seek solace
Too proud to admit
It's only
Losing grace.

I wasn't unhappy
Till I tried not to be.
Desperately seeking
Happiness
Trying tested formulae
The doorways so promising
The lock clicks open
And shut
Ali baba's magic cave
With its catch phrase password.
Meaningless pleasure
steeped in
Piquant spiced up meanings.

So one last treacherous embrace
Knaves of gluttony,
My forty thieving friends
your defiant deviance
My alter ego raves
Brandishing such brazen knives Sparkle of nickel cadmium blades.

Undaunted, I dance enmeshed in seven sinful veils
Lust rampant in sulpherous haze
Deception's soft flurry lace
Vanity hiding behind
vapid vacuous face.

Pride's a two faced shrew
It can act so truly
humble and meek
To save face it will even feign
Timid appearances
frail and weak.

The flitting happiness we hustle
To keep
Ostentatiously it's perfume reeks
The pride that pretends not to weep
Forgets what the heart must truly seek.

I am so sure now,
I was better off,
better off than this.
When I was content
To be
In the is.

Much better to crush and shatter
brittle hopes
Vaporize  bawdy
Tawdry dreams
When I look at what could be
And is
Oh existence!
And existence of
consciousness,
I am but a beautiful ravenous kiss
In your peerless timeless
Fleeting breeze.

With no time to spare
On  dubious luxuries
epiphanies and fits
Of futile future bliss.

Blustering red faced hubris
I hunt you down
On your wounded animal pride
I firmly ensconce the thorny encircled crown
Reductionist of life's very scope
Pride you're now disrobed 
A recurring clichéd trope.

And though
Aimals have a right
To lick their wounds
It's only in helpless innocence
If they bleed upon the ground
But arrogance howls
like a defiant wolf
Into the moon's visage.
Shedding blood as its nightly
evil purge.

I am a glass pane to reflect
the world that is
Clear, frosted
Even better when stained
With gorgeous golden joy or
Grapes' passionate purplish hues
pain paints me in such wondrous
Blues
I wouldn't part with these sorrows true
They make earthly kaleidoscopes
Forever beautiful.

(c) Amrita Valan 2015