The Way In

The Way In.

Ivy encrusted emerald gate
Tall dark silent empty fate
Hung about the castle
Such misty musty air
Another climate, an
Alien atmosphere
Prevailed there.

I ebbed in with my
Indifference
Ignoring abject pleas
From my soul,
Irrationally irreverant.

The trees stood up like pistol shots
Springing to salute my morbid thoughts
The sky above drooled blue greed
To suck away my soulful needs.
The air so hard and harsh and crisp
A bat could wing its way
Through rustling it.

My madness was a solitary pain
I desired to be crushed
Redeemed by reddening sin
To be poison elixir and bleed the rusted heart
Leech my soul out of
Its asthmatic mildewed dust.

Simply I speak of a desire to see
If the fires of hell could liven me
If God shied away would Devil's
paw
Set me terribly free.

All constraints barred at the door
My heart was a thumping corridor
Where if I turned the corner of reason
And dived in through my painful seasons
The portal closes and
This earthly dice rolls, ne'er
Ere again to turn to my
Favor .

I cried, in crazy grieving start and pause,
Jacob robbed Esau,
Yet flourished with nary a loss...
Who the sinner, who the saint?
A sleight of hand a Messiah's feint.
I kiss my Judas kiss and the threshold cross
Who died for me,
A coin's treacherous toss.

In the dark he greeted me
With blue locks of livid  flame
He licked me
Clean
Pain and memory became the sin
With hideous cillia arms
he locked me in.

I became the bloody Rubicon
The hideous one eyed unicorn
The red lantern glow from
The House upon Evil's Hill
Where the windows glow
Through the mist they flow
Into your dreams,
Till He finds the key
To your heart and opens
the tender lock
And automaton you sleeping walk
And turn the handle of evil
And enter the door,
From where
You may never return
Evermore.

© Amrita Valan 2015