The Lobster and the Crab

The Lobster and the Crab

Lobby the venerable lobster
Thought he was
Master of the Universe
But he had got it all backwards
As he clawed the oceans apart!

And each time he tried to make his move,
He found himself back by another foot!

The crazy crab laughed sideways, his weird and crooked grin
But then he was most sideways in almost everything!
so he scuttled across the tepid ocean floor
Dancing and dashing busily from door to door
Neither back nor front locomoting
He was forever sidewards shunting.

But Lobby thinks he is superior because
"He never ages!"
That's right;
His body can never grow older, because it contains magic Telomerase!
So yup, he is a Swanky stinky sea God
Unless you simply caught and ate him,
like any other herring, shrimp or cod!
Or say he contracted the disease of  lobsterlivia
Which means excessive self love or megalomania!

Now Karma the crab was aggressive, he fought to win a wife
But ever after he mated, he built her a nest and guarded her eggs with his life.
A tad quarrelsome with buddies and mates
Yet socially savvy and very up to date
He lived in groups and liked to cooperate
Until death whether t'was a natural fate
Or served  as minestrone upon a soup plate.

Lobby unless reduced to thermidor, or
Boiled alive by greedy humans in a jar
Preferred a hermit life by the ocean's floor
Eating the yucky skin he shed
Or even another lobster's flesh
Quite in a waste-not want-not way!

I think I prefer Karma and his simpler caramel soul
And oh he is sooo tasty in stews and
casseroles!
Mouthwatering in crabmeat  curries too
And patties and crab cakes of heavenly hue!

As for Lobby the lobster, though he is far costlier
To eat something that could have perhaps lasted forever!
Phew !
To tuck into an insect that eats the dead skin it moults
And thinks of itself as a marine God,
Well to even marinate it, my heart revolts...

So- gruesome Lobby pink red and gorgeous
I prefer the crab clad in
steely grey and slimy green and black
And rather dolorous and totally drab
But to me, the colorful canny lobster
Seems a creepy cannibal mobster
I suspect that he or she could be a tough
Gobstopper...
So I shall pass this dish, would you like to have her?

Oops! Him.

© Amrita Valan 2015