The Last Samurai: March 2015

Friday, March 27, 2015

Reveries

Reveries...
Your sunflower face....crouching in the meadow
Sunday morning
Hiding gleefully behind
Bushes...
While I call
Are you ready?
Playing hide and seek
Climbing trees...
Your valiant swing from
A flimsy branch
Broke your arm...
I don't even remember
How you fell
But oh yes I will forever
recall that dumb grin
Fringe over your eyes
After the fall.

The summer skits we play acted
You laughed at my Indian
Accent
I spoke such strange English.
How mortified to be corrected by you
And now it's so funny.

There you are...
Somewhere across an ocean around the corner of
A winding lane
And perhaps with a family
Sons you're raising like me
Or maybe little ladies.

I'm still stuck in the slow lane
A cul de sac from the past
Where you grin mock adoration
Like a cheeky charming child monkey.

And love to you.
You're not alone
In my hall of angels.
I have A host of childhood friends
I must serenade
Someday...
Seeing you as a little boy on your mama's shoulders today
In a chance photograph
On a sunny day
...made a song in my heart for you...my friend
May God be with you. ...

No Fear

The way towards freedom
Is to get the best
Out of the worst
Say it softly I've seen worse
Been worse
It's getting better already
Really,
Because...
I am trying to please myself
Comforting my loss
And sprung tears fall soft
To cool glowing cheeks
Not for the trouble I face
But the clean face
I put on it

They're currency
Treasuring me tenderly
Treating me well
A delicate grace
Missing from the world
With its obsessive
rat race....

I embrace my loss
And cradle you in tears
Something good will
Always spring
From the wellspring of
Despair.
Sorry ...I'm not
Manic depressive
But I'm softly laughing
I didn't know
what being sorry or sad was
Childhood fairy tale castles
Turrets against absurd loneliness surround me still
The mind that minds it own
Will
That stills itself
Against trouble is selfmade steel
My steeples reach sleepless heights...
Moonwashed contemplation
The wise owl wings past with its
Orange eyes
Concentration
Focus incarnate
A baby bat circles
Intent for locus
Some thing scurries by...

The world is innocent singular
Unself conscious
Minding itself with
No hocus pocus
A
Pride of one...
Yes
Anything you'll ever do think or realize
That's of importance
Is of solitary nature.
Democrats are crowds basking
In sunshine and glory
Their power and motivation is
A storyline
Egalitarianism crafted by
Aristocrats
But the magic
Of the natural world
The real wonder of it all
Instinct sensing
Possibility
Turning to
Opportunity
Real magic leaves no room for error
So wipe away those tears
They have done enough time
For you
Served your purpose
Set the seeker free
Now go freely
Without fear
Fear is faking
To yourself
Fear is forgetting
Your strength
Fear is the easiest
Adversary
The strongest opponent
The mightiest shadow boxer
Fear is You
Turned against yourself.
Shake its hands turn it
Spin it shake it by the coattails
Leave it.

A new night
Of disclosure
Beckons...
Discovery awaits.

Your world
Becomes your
Will
And
Testament.

Perfect Acquisition

Rapacious the eye's gluttony
Insatiable swallowing the whole
Without hesitation.

This too is a form, a course of true love too.
You pick up the product...
Not sure of use
But view it as a prop
Enhancing you.

Do you think I speak of
Lust?
Lust is as honest and straightforward as liking someone
The strategies it employs for revelations are social memes.
There's neither sophistication
Nor sophistry.

Love has the true langue
Whose cipher is whimsical
Whose parole is bent
To the rules
It invents.
Deceptively subtle
Hence sublime.
It takes as many paths as you'll hew through the dark woods
So it's donor roamer loser collector
A victim whining for a master.

And there's love living in the
Deep end
The dark bottom of the slimy well
...
Love
Needs to be validated
Acknowledged
Not just in reciprocity
In unrequitement
In secrets held close to chest
But in rejection most violent
Or in becoming property.

What kills love is not being
The Perfect Acquisition
But
Perfect apathy
To the one possessed.

In these ways we proceed
No easy answer on our lips
And the day after the chase
After the
Fast fading sun...
Our innings are declared
And then
We know for sure...

The person who floats
Before our ecstatic eyes
With lids tight shut
Comatose
The person who flashes
An inner motion
Of deliriously ludicrous
Rush
We have loved him
Forever perhaps.

Foreclosures in love
Are rare as divination
Disclosures on deathbed
More likely.

The person I confess this to
Will be
Me.

And
The last person I see
Will be He
With eyes wide shut.

Ripples

Ripples...

The pond on the other side of the road
Accross my granny's house
Green....not with slime
But long stalked heart shaped leaves...
Mom tells us stories how she and her sisters would swim in it
Seems difficult to believe
That the pond was a clear pool
Of water once...

I hold the vertical bars of the window...stand on a stool
I'm five years old again,
Or six or seven...
My free uncluttered mind
Stockpiling delightful images
From a fresh clean world....
There are two sweet shops. ..on the right
In between a narrow winding lane
Leads to umpteen relatives friends
Always ready with smiles
To receive.
It's funny how
The world is both small
And big simultaneously
I'm lonelier now
Despite my freedom to move accross cities
Yet at five...my narrow boundaries
Encompassed an infinitely welcoming universe
I may not recall all the names...
But oh the warmth in the eyes
The radiant smiles...
They're my peaceful valleys
My soft undulating plains...
Those are thankful hossanas
Childhood friends. ..

It's nightfall...lying in one straight and narrow cot
Two kids on each side of granny...
Listening rapt to her talk
Tales from her childhood...
Rangoon and Burma...
And strange folks called the
British. ..
Of bread tasting like cake called buns...
Nothing now is as good it seems.

Granny in my dreams
I imagined you, in your times, your days...
Sloping hills and peaks bathed in sunny rays
Thus you broadened and stretched my inner space.

Outside in the darkest hour before dawn...
Up again I wake as a little one
Outside the window dances
A coconut tree
In a silent breeze just made for me...
A softest whisper sifting out of the forsaken night
Just before breaking dawn streams bright...
Leave me behind my little one
Forgetting all enjoy your sun...
A day will...
A day will come
Then the moon will shine
Brighter than a thousand suns
And you won't close your eyes again...
To darkness to sorrow to Teacher pain
The child has dreamt on joyful plains...Sunlit lands.
Dark knows heaven's Immanance...
Light passes through, that which alone remains
My ancestors, in it
We are all joined
In a long line of Shadows
Behind this light
So beautiful.
Permanent.

A Game of Hearts

Your heart...
My head in my hands.
My heart...
In your two hands.
End it.
I don't enjoy it..

I want a home in your head......
Not a port of call.
Not a waiting room
Not a dark and ugly cul de sac
Garbage strewn.

Walling up the wails in the room
Of stoicism feels good.
Heroic even.

Later in the night
The moon calls on me
Without card
Or a ring of the doorbell.

Standing in the corridor
Watching the night sky
Feeding on pain
Feeling each howl
The forsaken moon burns
My blue hot veins.

This is how night feels
When you have a heart
And didn't keep it close
To your soul
But let it drift apart.

The moon grins evil...
drifts away
Aroused by the carousel of dark clouds.
Well they'll stray.

Moon hear the wind
That's our lost soul
Who stole a heart ...
Ripped it
from the whole.

Wind ...
Throws halfhearted clouds in disarray
That heart is precious. ..
Its my whole life
And it isn't for play.

My heart is in my head
My soul is in my breath
I'll make my own bliss...
I'll lie on my own bed.

And your unbreakable heart...

Wasn't too hard to please

...it was just too
Hard.
I can't play this game
Of torture and tease.

A Moon Ago

Gosh! these poetry contests ...I'm moon struck...the image challenge, then yesterday's poem... and now again it seems the sly slice of moon creeps into my write!

A Moon Ago

So cold...your lovely silver stripes
My verandah's zebra grows wild...
Comely ...hesitant...watchful.

If I have you stuck like a tattered post-it
In the back door of my mind
Cooling your heels in my freezer
This wild night of frozen stars
Thaws your rarest memoirs
From afar..

And the moon sly crescent eye
Winks me another glimmer of madness
Insolvent

So we roam again
Those of us with restless hearts
And shorn wings
We roam again tonight

borne upon angels
with cloven hooves.

The moon visits my loneliest verandah
Showering music... lyrical melodies
But you're light years away
Just looking at it....
Memories glazed...in the refinery of
sophistication
With a frosty sadness...

My moon is a tender beacon
Bright and hopeful debutante
Night falls asleep
In the hallway.

The dance floor was empty
Or the dance
Never happened.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Whitewood

Whitewood mind
Worms worrying its
Chewy texture...
Tunneling in furrowed brows.

Dark ebony glaze
Rose wood heart
Knobbling hurts
upon its knees groveling...
Secret whorls
softly fold in essence
Of
Memories.

Sandalwood
Soul stirred wondrous
scent of
Loss
Now here now
There
Or not
A fragrance
Felt...

Mind lingers on
heart carries on
Soul...moves the
Wheel of life
Fortunes ascending
To zenith
Gently descending. ..

The waiting room of
Descendants.

The sound of something
Scares me that I do not know
A change immutable
Has occurred
The key turning... has unlocked...
The screeching door
Reluctance reverberates.

Sarcophagus of sacrilege
The mummy will rise
If you choose
To Consecrate
What has died
Most unnaturally.

Fresh blood is summoned
Sacrifice called for
You have undulated my mind
Beyond borders of the familiar
Become my familiar
And Shall I
Yes
Reciprocate?

In the dark tomb the bandaged apparition beckons
It's alive
With my erstwhile blood and tears
I'm pale a sheet of paper
Formless cutting edge of
Space and time.

Losing dimensional validity
Rapidly.
Retreating from Reality city...
Into a lost world
That cuts the jugular.

Effect determining cause.
Means justifying end.
Pleasure doting on pain.
This is the core reality
The subtle terror.
No Escape valve
And pressure
Built up
Escalates.

A Satanic Sun

A satanic sun shines
In the night
Moon floats upon the cold daylight
The stars keep me falling
One by one
The sky is moving up and out
The pillars of doubt keep shooting up
And down I sink
In
Through the bowels of
the engorged earth.

I am through and out on the other side
Evening paces in spacious black
Strides.
Where are the stars on this darkling grid?
What beyond this darkness leads?

Heaven above
Earth underneath
Beneath the earth

To Hades lead.

I'm out free and cold and wild
The Sun was a myth
And I a mere child

Days to the grave
Then beyond its Inn
A gravelly life
So soiled creeps in
The harvest of all my earthly lust
Prepares me to hell's bridal dust
See my wedding gown
Of jet ether
It floating rises up to reveal a night
Darker than the nightmare
Of my pallid thighs
This side of the bottomless fall
Is an emptiness that holds in thrall
And magnifies
And magnifies
And magnifies...
Till earth sun stars clouds trees water falls
Mountains bridges houses and all
Fade away from pinpricks of existence to nothingness
And from that
Unending bleary nothingness.
My hell seed
Germinates.

A Poet...For Keeps

For Keeps.

I am a poet
I ooze hurt from my pen
The even line of my mouth
crumples slightly then.

I am a poet
I visit your world
Power through your
head
Watch ideas
Unfurled.

I am a poet
I will carry the trace
Of each port I call upon
Traveller's embrace...

Hasty departures
Such strange deposits
I will live all my life
I swear
Wondering
Upon it.

There's a furtive person inside
Who seeks and she will
Find
The answers to all queries
Except the
What If kind.

I'm not a poet
I cannot metamorphose
If I explain the poetry
It may turn to prose.

Was it for protection
Was it to cause pain...
The questions will come back
Now
And again.

Nymphette Falls

No wings
Grounded
Can still feel
My wingspan.
The powerful swish of air
Against their surface.

Deposit pawned.
No returns.

My hair is gosammer gown
Like discretion's veil around my shame blushed face
My lips are damaged receptacles
Puckered strawberries oozing
Blood.

I am feeling much more voluminous weight
More
body than spirit
Embracing curves and firmness
I cannot stop rejoicing
Woman of wanton abandoned grace

Watering dawn under
Moonlight
Understanding writ
On my solvent dissolute eyes
Outshine the scattered stars
Comely is the succubus sky
laying the nightmare ending...
Dewy drowsy warmth flows through the electric earthed Eden from ascending east.

I who was a creature of the skies
Stately
Now am an inverted field of dreams
For my Grim Reaper to
Plough his fecund ecstacy
Sowing silken stars of fluid aspirations
Upon my earthy rustred eiderdown.

I am slowly forgetting my past...
Quicker than before now quite fast
And anyhow
My wings were always
Behind me..
Step forward incubus
Now that I am...
Salacious
Earth Angel.
Lowly blood red
Blossom
Unfolding
A delicious
Saturnine Rose.

Too many Times

Crying crying crying
crying crying so hard
Stone drops don't fall.

I feel my frozen
lids are swimming
With icy nothings at all.

Too bad too often
Too many times
Too much to handle
But
Not a tear falls.

Hurts feel too you know
They freeze up on you
I know now, just how much
I cannot please
You .

And I swear
Well I do
I will never try again
Never cry again
Never never again

Crying crying crying crying
Crying
trying trying trying so hard
Too hard
To stop
the pain.

Cared for Kindly

Yup...still continuing the erotic thread. ..but this is a love poem

Cared for Kindly.

Cared For Kindly

The curtain fell darkly
ny mind flashed pain
Nerve exposed
numbly
My senses ajar
Mouth agape dumbly
Swallowing delicious word signals
Gulping down air.

What is it
that excites
Not being loved
Blindly
Not groping words, like hands in the dark, clutching,
Aligning holding
Moulding
Roughness hurting badly.

Not being treated with
Caution circumspect
Or handled with casual ease brutal disrespect unless its brushed and varnished
...
Yes the curtain descends
Shooing off rational thinking
When the one who holds you
With raking claws
Takes the flesh
Off flaming bones
Spirit sucked out
extracted
Trembling
Marrow of dense resistance
Discarded
Like naked
Jelly upon the windowsill
Shuddering...
Tossed out trash.

Not unless the one who
Treats you with a rude and tender madness
Leaves you
Wondrously exhausted
Making you seem
Cared for kindly
In the aftermath of
Pain you wanted.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Mumbo Jumbo

I dont believe in your mumbo jumbo
Your easy salvation
Your fake contrition
No crime beyond the reach of repentance
A trick to obtain unearned
Grace
Humans are sinners
Grace cannot be earned?
Then for mercy's sake
Withhold your hell
We cannot be burnt.

When the crimes are ones
We must commit
When it isnt in our power to just
Omit
Our best behavior arrived at not by kindness through process of reasoning
That we should do to others
As we would like to be treated
No...
Rather let's irrationally love all our enemies
Lets forcibly bend our minds
To violent peace
Because the Most High wishes it...
All rights reserved only to him
To rationally arrive
At peace and grace and compassion
Through an inner drive
No!
We never can deserve it
But as abject objects
We may beg and plead
Kill our brothers
Lust after the other woman
Yes!
We may Do as we please
If only?
Ha ha!
If only we truly repent for it!

I laugh you off like
Frothy spittle out of my
Mouth
Upon God, your faux kindness do not spout
When your hardened eyes avoid the seeking glance
When your stony hearts can never see how
My soul too can dance
To the music of your
Savior extraordinaire
Simply because I will not
Purchase
The ticket to his concert
However Fair!
I will not allow
My soul to be bought or soul
Grace contrition cannot be mere purchases
To be controlled
By membership to exclusive leagues
Brothers, your humility clothes a pride I do not seek
And though these hurting eyes shall weep
Every teardrop shall speak as they wipe your feet with it

I believe in a Man of God
That he came with a mission
That holy books contain the germ of vision
That germinate in the soil of individual minds
God's books are we living and loving
And weaving parables
That in libraries you can never find.

Trust in man who erring can
Realize withdraw and check his flaws
Rather than following a stagnant book
Which stopped growing centuries before.
In it are pretty gurgling brooks crystal clear
And tangled deadwood of yesteryears.

Infallibility is a myth
Cling on to it
Bypass the road to perdition
Never mind your mind
Be ministered by blind
Men seeking to describe
The elephant.

And so
Refuse to put Man
Before a Book
So let Deception be the Holy crook
The staff of serpent be guided by
Eternal damnation or Salvation are both
Carrots and sticks
In deadwood forests they plentiful lie...

Choose well...be led by ring and nozzle
Keep your blinkers add a muzzle
End your days and then..?
And then goodbye.

So no
I do not believe such
Mumbo jumbo grace
I cannot cannibalize
My Savior's face
That He should die
So we should Live
Now that's a cause
For eternal grief
That His death
Should purchase our relief
Were I to make that my Belief
Why no sin should be
Beyond my reach
I could fritter away the frill of my life's lease
In the end sign up for the saving bond
And call myself "Once lost, now
Found!"

You say I can't earn it
Sure but I can try it
Ends don't justify means
Because I can't pass the advanced test
Doesn't mean I won't sit for it.
Lord give me grace marks for effort
Priests, Desist from selling
Your deadly tort.

Kindness is pleasure
I thrive in sweet speech and soft looks and a loving smile for one
Whose heart longs for it.

It's free and easy to give without
Measure
Without hoarding it like your personal treasure
to bequeath only on
"Deserving" candidates
Good will to all of you my friends
And I wish you much luck and love
Upon your fates.

Assume

Assume.

Red
Power of your energy
I felt it
Like a dramatic drawing in of
Me.
Into Your love..

I assumed your energy
I assimilated
And like a sponge
Swollen to sweet
Proportions
My sentiments
Soft
So soft.

I have the arc
Of your smile intact
In my heart.
The clean encouraging
Gleam of your heart
In my vision...
From your eyes
That radiated courage..

Explaining
I need look no
further.

Love is not what
you look for
It is what you look at
Recognize
Don the mantle
Of love

Love assumes you.

Not what you may find
Or think you found
Love was never lost
Or stolen from you
Or waiting passively
To be found.

Love can only Be
You
When you see me
As I am
Aah...
with such surety
Of acceptance..

Love
Don't want it...
Wear it
Flaunt it.

The only true assumption
that you can make
That this cruel deceptive world
Can never break
Is
Love...

My love.
Your love.
Our love.

Frozen

Frozen enmeshed in a million crystal flakes
Congealed to a hopeless hellish
depth... expanding despair
Anomalous
Death
Flash frozen
Fearstruck
Arisen afresh from stolid stupor
Again to
Goddess be
Splinter doubts of
Fragility
In
single flash of
Inspiration
A glimpse
A glimmer
A
Purity untouched.

An oceanic tease
For ships cast out to sea
Set adrift eternal madness
Of longing besets.

rocked....wrecked...
What shores of vengeance
What stores of treasures
In the heart of an old
Ocean
She shines.
Saying
Sailor say your prayers
If ever,
You find me.

Ravine

No...I'm not dying yet.... imagining a possible end. :)

Ravine

Heart racer
Pink frills
Van keeling into ravine
Raving madness
Ravening memories

Gaping hole
Dying brain
Revolutions,
Wheels turning
Clogs unlocking
Recollections
Such pink frills! Goodness me!
I'm a baby girl

See me mamma ...I'm in the shower
You're love
You're mom
and all I know
An entire world

Did you see my heart mamma
Did you know it like my black eyes
My adoring gaze fixed on you
Did it conceal the haze of my
mind?

I was forming it and moulding it
I was shaping up on my own
I was bringing up your baby
While you fought alone
a terrible world of
Illness
It took away your power
Your love for me
Didn't hide in the dark in which you always cowered.
Fear is palpable
So was dying hope
I learnt it well
Enough
How fear in darkness gropes

I'm teetering, and images
Overrun my brink
Of life
The precipice
My edge defines
I see my sunny day spirit of yore
I held my father's sun in my inner core
My mother was moon
Lovely light
A radiance that delights
A reflection of a brighter
Blaze
Dazed memories
days so dazzling
Eyes can't erase

Now sun or moon
Don't wait on me
The end is creaking near
The gears of fortune turning
Point of no return
Welcomes me
It's lost daughter
I can see the cliff careening
Hit the sky
Hard as hammer
Soft ooze of clouds
Melting icebergs
The ugly lies.

I'm on the way
The ground falls off my
Fairy feet
And I am down the
Mad rabbit hole
Of such a blessed
Reckoning

Helpless to fly
I flow into my fall
I am the floor
And the ceiling
And the door
And every window bright
Lit up my
House flies through kansas
Dark
Towards an unknown glorious
Oz.

I come
By the resounding bells of some
Long forgotten church
The deep bass gong of an old town clock
By the last soft sweet chimes
Of my life's unwinding time
How sweet and helpless
A babe borne am I
Flawless
To my timeless
death.

Never Say

Never say....

I miss you
and it's true
I never loved you
Deeply

Or maybe
I never loved you
At all.

I needed
to fall in love
To wake up
with a kiss

Like
Sleeping beauty
Arouse me with your
Lips

Stolen
Some moments
When not one
Belongs to me.

How could I be
A thief?
Time wasn't mine
To keep.

When
you and I
Together
Becomes a fabulous lie
an epic myth.

What kind of a
Woman
would do this
Knowing full well
It wouldn't work...

The mystery
Becomes
A romantic shroud

We'll wrap up.
A stole around me
Twisted in the
Breeze.

The love is dead
It needs no hearse
Still born
Before it breathed
Air
Now up into a smoky sky
Smoldering sage
An ancient star.

Yes we deliberately deceive
Subjects of our own deception
When the object of our delusion
Is the loveliest
We can conceive.

An act of true
deception...
Cannot be love
you say?

I have lived it
And
Loved it.

But yes.
It cannot last.

Love light
Love bright
By the faint light of a
Winking star...
Laughing madly at us
Laughing,
Laughing
From afar.

Splinters and Splendors

Splinters and Splendor

If that's all that I am meant to be
If I am to sing praises of that which I cannot see
Then let that be my most wondrous all
Shall I descend and to darkness fall?

The heavens above become the stuff of dreams
What heaviness lies there beckoning
my soul lightens with delight
So I choose, upwards will be my flight...

Up above so down below
Nowhere else may one choose to flow
I stay rooted I stick my ground
Neither lost nor am I found

My little loves my aching passions will survive me
There's blood in the clouds those are memories
Of maternal angst of quiet despair
The poseurs gone the pose adheres
Timeless unbroken faithful charm
Can bring you danger or great harm
To use lives wisely to use them well
Make a heaven of your hell

Oh tonight my head sings difference
A cold calculated defiance
I will be splendor split I wont be one
The nethermost rays of the rising sun

Light in darkness in darkness light
Noone savior and none to blight
As accursed and blind...in perpetuation.
And no victim of perpetual plight...

The only being that a human makes
is the one who allows his heart to break
Puts on a cast repairs his chest of treasures
And repays love's labor lost
With love without measure.

genuine and not a cast
Face the you that cannot last
And with
Broken heart and bones and hurting flesh
Love the soul within enmeshed
Arise from your well of pain and doom
Make rooms within the heart of gloom
With the very fibre of your being
silken hopes upon the loom you spin
A wild yarn a tale taller than the sky you seek
And we are true heroes
Because we are weak

Fear and hope...strange bedfellows
Our love conceive
Our best and worst in tandem weave

So in sweet tenderness towards loss I dissolve
And acquitted by myself I do absolve
No sinner no saint
I'm just love passing through
Pass over
Angels
Of guilt hate and death.
My resolution is to live
my holy lent...
Drink life to the lees
A most bittersweet pungent
Joyous brew.

Two

I am innocent and then I'm someone else
To describe me to myself my profuse most poetry fails

I belong somewhere and something tells me
It could be either heaven or hell

Instead of a defeating struggle I almost accept that
For me there's a part of me which seems to be residing at

Some underworldly submerged location
Forever raising its pronged and perilous head
And the things I do to myself
Make me wish that I were dead

And the thought strikes me that perhaps I am
Not so very different from Joe Dick or Sam

Perhaps the body houses a dual soul
An angels halo with a devil's cawl
I refuse to accept one is all I'm allowed
I won't fight myself Two's not a crowd

I think the only person who I can ever harm
Is me alone and the hurt is the fatal charm
The sacrifice that shall end my lies
I'm unholy unworthy and thus I'm wise.

Because this woe is me it makes me strive
Not to hurt another soul another life.

Blurring me is the slurry me
I morph from self to self so amazingly
You would be charmed
And perhaps you might be harmed
But that's not just my doing alone my friend
That's your own duality that you
Forever fend.

Live
Let live
Let sleeping snakes lie
And if you speak with one who understands
And sees eye to eye
Perhaps you're being tempted
The fruit is seeded in the lie
Beware the standing serpent
For he is truly wise.

Sonnet for Joe

Begging forgiveness for the poor quality of this attempted Shakespearan sonnet...not written for any silly challenge but simply because Joe Wilson thought me good enough to write one.
:) This is about you Joe Wilson

Sonnet...for Joe.

Wisdom comes in so many shapes and size
And sometimes even though you've never met
You know for sure who never lies
And there's no need for a tete a tete

The ink he spills contains living spirit
The man so full alive in his brain child
No testimonial greater than merit
Stiched with strength his pearls shine gentle and mild

A quiet devotion and a steadfastness
A loyal demeanor enshrines my friend
Art his life and graceful his measured pace
With grit and grandeur does his garden tend

To be sure of one's place is to be wise
And sure enough his wisdom is paradise.

Hidden

Saying it beautifully is to consciously lie
The heart is at it's ugliest when we cry
Brim full with regret and furnace of guilt
The crooked house of yearnings that we wilfully build

Cannot write a pretty poem cannot abstain
Ink coats a patina of polish on pain
Tears are mere accessories slimy appendage
The vestigial remains of a soul's bondage

Sighs mark the contract when we sign up for pain
mortgage our freedom never to see it again
Lovely is love when it isn't perceived as loss
By gainful merger.....
We make it our boss

My best love was the one I kept to myself
The secret I whispered to only fairies and elves
Love was my possession but it didn't possess me
I was not purchased my soul was still free
It was my gift to myself to moon over on rainy days
No lip sevice paid but exquisite thoughts in my head
Everywhere I go I hear people who
Advise to shout it out from the rooftops and so
The moment of magic lost in the letting it out
A Love declared becomes disposable fraught with self doubt.

Divine love alone measures up to the pedestal of the mind
Say it not to me...that lovers can't see flaws
And that Love is truly blind.

Beautiful it is to forgive blemishes and love
But more beautiful still to cherish it pure in the heart's hidden alcove.

I'm treacherous unreasonable unrealistic and yet
Love that prospers certainly is a prospect of fate
Work at it hard and give to it your totality
But if it wasn't meant to be. ... it won't flourish.
You cannot water it to vitality.

Go beyond ascend your soul longs to scoop the air
Off the height of crimson horrizons
Beyond love's intimate bower.

The One

My dear it's only for you I put pen to paper or else
I would watch the pretty clouds in the afternoon skies
After a shower of rain
The soft sunset would stir past pangs
Perhaps even heartrending angst
But in distant echoes.
Pain on paper
Conducting the same
A detached aloof wizardry
From moving pen.

But
No more
Now the ink cries and cries
Longs to scratch and scrawl
Abrade the paper and the world
Lovingly humbled it crawls
Filling up space so fast
Thoughts are not allowed
But emotions outlast
Rationality.

If not for you my dear
I would not fear to grow old
I would welcome the passing of an age a phase
I would love my life
Contemplative
In it's fall years.

But so hard so hard your ruthless hold
My heart emboldened
Refuses to let the sun set
Without a walk upon the beaches
With you my love
And aging gracefully is a ludicrous notion
Put on hold.

The ocean sways and rears
To the tangy breeze
Its shores sprinkle sand
Pity upon my feet
I hear every cell inside
all of me
Calling begging
enduring beyond endurance
For the glimpse
Of a lifetime.

I have never been there
Please take me
Where fear leaves
And hope grows
Where are you?

My two hands
Have never been held
Tightly
With tenderness.

Now I bow
Before the lamp
It's night
And scrawl my unreal dreams
Shuddering strokes on paper emblazoned with pen

Yesterday I wrote about what I saw without me
Which I then felt
Within and expressed

Today
Awake I'm
To write tomes
The sense of a
Love unseen...
And which will not be suppressed.

You don't exist and the poetry does
My mind awakened
How hard it is
To have a view a glimpse
Of the highest deepest reach
The scopes of emotions the lofty peaks.
And know that you walk alone
Into the fading sun in a world of glistening sand
Upon a trodden beach

My footprints find the way
Forward.
Looking back
Even that's erased.

Poetry Challenge Feckless Impunity Lackadaisical

Poetry challenge...
Using feckless impunity and lackadaisical.

Why when in the past I would write with impunity
Have you grown lackadaisical
my pen?

Why my Muse are you so detached, so feckless?

Though opportunity passes by
Are you an opportunist
Who will only rise to the
Certain occasion
Ignoring the dice
Of differential probabilities
Disregarding
Fair chance
Of possibilities
Like
faux fur.

I'm waiting on that no
Longer.
This poem will be
Testament not to
Beauty but power.

Let us be.

Poetry is a fait accompli
An act of will
To generate
Beauty
For there's
No other way
For a poetess
To live.

Haikus and Senryus

Haikus and Senryus...

Tender snow white rind
Slicing through a black bruised night
God's bounteous light

Creepers and tendrils
An unruly jungle of vines
My stupefied mind.

Paper thin slices
Crisp cucumber sandwiches
Sunday picnickers.

Rain smashed on compost
Liquid dribbling from manholes
Moisture in the mind.

Ain't any rainbows
After torrid bouts of rain
Broken Hearts, promises.

Shady sombreros
Blinding wasteland heat and light
Hollow men of straw.

Nirbhaya...India's Daughter

Nirbhaya India's Daughter

Her light floats on the waters
Unwavering. ..
Refusing to be squelched
Even though
Strong winds blow.

Thirteen days of
Ageless endurance
After one night
Without end.

Flowers on the waterfront
Girdle her flamenco dance
Softer than childhood fables
Of fulfillment...

She never knew them.
Running on water softly...
Her footsteps tread
The breaking floor
Of my restless
Heart.

When Lord...when?

Even though
Never more alive

Extinguished in brutal pain...
Her life rages
In my brain
Brandishing torturous
torches...

Her memory her sweet simple name
Running on softly like
Subdued incense
Through my veins...
Such searing
Light.

Ashamed...
I cannot carry her.
Too heavy
The load
The burden of her
Screaming breath.

Banshees wail
In the mind's rain...

My lack of courage
My coursing fears
Frozen
Like fraudulent tears

Like a deer
Caught in the
Headlights
Was she...
Open to
Hunters out for
Game.

The skin on my
Back
Tender bristled
Whiplashes...
She had no
Cover.

She was born
Boon to her
Parents.
Not to cry
But to comfort
Create a
Safe haven...

Heaven had forsaken
Decency
When she was brought
Down to her knees
Unwary morsel.

She was a temple
Refusing desecration
Splinters of her dauntless soul
Suffering
Alive in every woman.

She is.
She is courage.

Nirbhaya...though her soul
Rest in peace I pray

May she never rest
In our hearts.
Never more
Again.

The Saracen and the Phoenician

Three verses Ottava Rima.
For the challenge.

The saracen was a high nobleman
With a dark regalia of intense air
The Phoenician with his curls auburn
stood brave so carefree and tall and fair.
And the two were men of different turns
twas clear... none for the other did care.
One lived in deep dens of the Sinai wild
The other by seashores pleasantly mild.

Settlements stark of flimsy mud and clay
Temporary decaying in humid sun
A proud patriarch of temporal stay
unlike the easygoing Phoenician.
Fiercely he protected his kith and kin
From roving eyes of the wandering one.
She was born a demure pampered girl
Saracen lass for who sailor's love unfurled.

And though care she took to veil her charm
Perchance they met and his heart was won
Swiftly he took her wary heart by storm
And ever since the two were on the run
Around and round the world fleeing from harm
Ever since two pure hearts did beat as one...
But her brother was elder of the clan
Swore to hunt them down wherever they ran.

In Tyre's busy marketplace they did meet
Saracen Eyes fireworks hatred burning
Saracen lass falling at brother's feet
But there's a point beyond her returning
Her fair lover bowed his head low to greet
The sword upraised sent blood infernal churning
The Phoenician gazed at azure skies
As he fell, its sapphire met his eyes.

Twas a tale gory of a glorious age
Twas a lovers courage not borne by fate
To meet not pity but insidious rage
That rendered tender regard obsolete.
Sought to shackle a soul to lonely cage
An exile of Love to treacherous Lethe
While Saracen lived his eyes held his doom
Oppressive souls carry relentless gloom.

Closer You Get

Inspired by Flloyd Brown

I closed my eyes
and saw
The closer you got
The farther I was
The path undulating
Heathen sunsets
The yellowish hills
Of an agonizing grace.

I saw still further
Fossils amidst fogs
A majestic winter
branches blanched in
Bleak smog

A golden sweet summer
of sweethearts on roof
Then a fall into ocean's
soft cloven hooves

Of a world in departure
from soft moment we met
And a dead half life later
In storms my fate...

The closer you get
The farther my
closed eyes can see
A light stricken blindness
The masking unease

All Hallows eve
Such craven beliefs

A masjid a mandir
In bas relief
Aspiring church
Graves staunch and stark

And the underlying belly
Of it all
Makes my heart
Lurch.

The Fall of the Night...original version

This was the original
..here's Goose the wanderer..

Do you run out of poetry
when you run out of things to say
When you run out of thoughts
And don't even have the words
And all you can pray
for
is to live through the day?

I can still find myself singing
for an angel who's winging
Me accross the flood
I cannot see him
I do not know what he wants
...
Tears fog my eyes
And sweet music swells
My ears are surfeited
With a magic that wells
From deep inside
From the core of my being
Comfort forgotten
Pain
Thy diurnal ditty I sing....

I'm a nocturnal queen
I'm a singed sylvan being
The flame scorched my wings...
And falling asleep
I sing.....
Bidding adieu to falsehood
My fall and my follies...
I embrace
And sing.

The Fall of the Night...Night Stars

The best I could do. Deleted my original poem in a frenzy of efficiency. Inspired by Nocturnal Queen by Flloyd Brown

Night Stars...

Do you run out of poetry
When you run out of thoughts
Run out of words
Of wise things to say

Do you run out of gas
When you must pray
Just to live through this
Unholy
Unwholesome day?

I know I'm still singing though I'm still lost
An angel is winging me
Through my floods and my draughts
Whose thoughts I don't know
Whose eyes I can't see
Sing sweet my angel
My ears surfeit

Tears fog my eyes
You tell me your lies
Upon my knees
I kiss you
In the rain of my sighs

Mist..gray and heavy
A burden of mistakes
The proof of my
Life
in my abiding
Death.

My mistakes are legion
Nights spent on such thorns
envying the bed of dark demons
Brave inner storms...

Sing sweetly angel
I fall to my sleep
Falling
Falling into my follies
I embrace the deep

End of weeping
My dark well of fears
Falsehoods adieu
For this truth I must
Bear.

This pain is far sweeter
More just than delight
I'm a singed splintered being
With scorched wings
A nocturnal queen
Singing
The Fall of my
Night....

The Voyage...Untie my Ships

This was inspired by Flloyd Brown whose work is beyond fascinating.

.untie my ship
Set free my sails
Set sail my voyage begins
Beyond nether dreams
Dark wells of wanderlust
Shark faces of magic glints
Dusk waters roll and roil
Oily murky swathe uncoil
Speak my serpent
wreathed, and
breathe the sinister
tale.

My anchor is a long and ancient chain
I'm it's binded bonded slave
Deephaven deep waters dreaming
Moon decoy
In the murky half lit swamp
My minds Sirocco siren wails
Cutting the rope the cord
Of cordial grace and existence.

Untie the ship
Set free the sails
Set sail
My voyage begins
Sweet unknown trails.

And Lust is Called Hell

Inspired by my muse Flloyd Brown

And Lust is called hell
Physical desire called gross
Point out the one
who has not felt its gloss.

Good and Evil....
Explore the rainy evening
Take a walk in the city
The envy you meet
Is lust that greets
For your perfect body
Your pretty face
Your lissome coat
And walk of grace

The flame is in the soul brother
The fire the Devil feeds
Be comfortable in your skin
Or jealousy you'll breed

I am quickened to desire
I flaunt such a flashing fire
It will not hurt you
Perchance ignite you
Beyond such pretty notions
As good and Evil
And Heavenly Father
Heathen cloven hooved
Monsters
Lurking in the dark...
Lying on the park bench..
Hush...
Hear the stealthy serenade
In the breeze that envelopes
Unease
Such sordid rationalization
Oh...the brain is half asleep
Listen to your Id....
Revealing
Purple secrets of pleasure
Play and tease
Your desires
Release the treasure
Of morality
'Tis a fool's gold
You can't hold
You will never hurt someone
For Lust
Isnt rape murder pillage
No....
Even the sage shall be
Seduced
The night of Apsara descending...
Love is not a cloak for lust
To use when you must
Deceive
At first sight
Attraction
Tell me what it is?

Never deceive your dreams
Indecency in denial...
In dressing up facts with pretty paint job...

I walking drag my own world around
And the very stars wink at me...
Human conspiracy trodden underfoot
I release my arrow
Sure ...not of finding my mark
But that I shot
Straight and narrow
To pierce your
Heart.

Offerings

Grateful acknowledgement to my Muse Flloyd Brown

Offerings

The wound in my heart
this crater for love
youve seen the magma
rise in lava of lust
The heart wants to heal
welt it you will
This body is game
make me thy kill
In a moment too tender
my heart you have healed
In a sacred spot
you poured in some bliss
Love me or love me not
for that's stupid and blind
I will sit back and enjoy
what treasure I find
It's a witch hunt
it's switch strap
it's in these that I seek a moment of surrender
Respite for weaknesses lack
I lave in my lust
I cover you my love
stripping me of all emotions
just to be Your devoted doll
The sacred feminine
the holy profane
by obscenitys grace
enchanting insane
Am I the prey?
And are you the Beast
sacrificed before fallen gods
May you enjoy your feast
My baby
I lay upon the table
yet not to partake
be the food on your plate
for your insatiable appetite ....
This act of mastication mystical
vow of devotion my unyielding faith
my body's offerings
to satiate sweet Lethe
I ride, I ride across the vale,
the chasm of your eyes
with each hungry fall
thy majesty shall rise.

Turnkey...Let it Be.

Turnkey...Let It Be.

By the turnkey of tears
By the turnstile of smiles
Yesterday's hopes
Lingered for a while
The sun bowed and bent another
Mile
Below the horrizon all the while...

Then I cried out my diamonds
Of truth....
Feeling so light.
But the ruby red hurt compressed too tight
Choking the tears and drawing my blood
And so internally
I cried a flood...

By the turnkey of tears
By the turnstile of smiles
Truth grew me up
To forbear a while
Hurt locked me inside into a ball so tight...
It hurt my red eyes even to visualize
A world of such brilliancy
Dazzling white light...

Carry me over the stile lord
Lay me down I'm mortified
Taunt not my taut body
On the whitewashed bloody fence lord
Let me gently down....
For on thy hallowed Elysian fields
I died.

The House in Tollygunge

The house in Tollygunge

My great big great aunt...yes she was a large lady. ...larger than life...big smiley face...and a very free and easy demeanor.
To carry on...this bounteous lady's pet name or nickname was baby...
Granny baby....Baby dida

She perched atop the 3rd or 4th floor of an old house in Tollygunge. ..a bustling area close to South
Calcutta.
The year India gained independence. ....1947, this 17 year old bride armed with her wardrobes furniture et all came to this airy perch overlooking the city's skyline...and there she was ensconced right till the end.

So many of my favorite childhood memories are entwined with the dwelling that housed this bustling jovial lady...the very house took on her character. ..spic and span..amazingly clean lacy curtains dressing up her sitting room windows....sparkling cushion covers
Geometrically arranged on the rather skeletal sofa set....The whole house looked like elves and fairies had been at work the whole day, just before we came.

And now ...who knows the fate of the self same house? Dwindling and diminishing in unkempt uncared darkness...hermitage of sad solitude
For another lonesome widowed spinster...haven of urbanized peace...last refuge for an aged couple...or maybe totally radically revolutionized. ..transformed into a lively home full of laughter and children?

What it is now...I will never know...
But the house exists in my mind as a well kept dusted and aired mental construct...and there it will stay...
Intact with Baby dida's memories. ..and tidily wistful for her presence.

I want to remember. Simultaneously I want to snap out of this mood....
It's uncanny but. ..I feel as though she is hovering in the air somewhere... .not to far
..asking us to please remember her.
Like Tagore's beautiful song...

Remember me....even though you forget...
Even so...
Even in that act of forgetting...
Please remember me.

Aah...the sad evening of remembrance.
Rest in peace beloved soul.

Acknowledgement to Sunetra Gupta
For translation of Tagore's song
Tobu Mone Rekho....Even So Remember Me..
I will post the full song in its English translation if I can gooogle it.
:)

Mothers

Mothers are sacred vessels
Safe harbors when we are yet
Unformed
Unborn
Reckless for
Being.

And after we're delivered to light
We see a world of love
Love in mothers eyes
Lights up
our world.

A sun of safety
To gaze eternity upon.

Yes! If at all
we see eternity
It's in continuity
In threads of love
that bind mother
To child. ..
These eyes
have it.

Her astounding capacity to love
Reflected in softened orbs
Magnifies my soul
Escalates elevates me.

Magnificat anima mea
Gloria in excelsis mater.

Mother is God
The repository
Of Heaven's
Hallowed kingdom.

The dying man remembers
His distant infancy
With the last speckled sunshine
In his fading eyes.
And smiles for
those days of sweet sunshine
Under his Pieta's care
And
Animates his children's
children
With that
Living bible
Of his documented love
The testament of
Time's trust in
Shady days of
Benevolence.

Yes indeed a mother
Is prayer book
Cover to cover
Surpassing all religion
Teaching more than
All the books of learning
dying a trillion fearful deaths
For her babes
In one lifetime
Immortalized

She truly never dies

Even when...
Her children are
Themselves dead.
The river of love once
melted must flow
Till end of Time.

Hold close to heart and mind
Infuse her
In your soul and being
Transfer her beloved light
Through her eyes your children
Are you,
Seeing.

The Mission

Late afternoon settled down alone
Kids napping house quieter than thoughts of silence
My mind mousing around
Searching for scraps and tit bits
To fashion an elegant fur collared poem.
Faux leather furry fashion furrows my brows
Tired of fishing
For goid thoughts
Noble and elevated airs
For accolades
On how well my cross
I bear.

I want to write today
Not about loving
My neighbor.
I don't really care
For her.

My daily help
Is a good woman
Walking a mile daily
To work in my home
Scrubbing my floors
Because I cannot bend
My knees.

Her husband's dead
Her second one has one
Legal wife.
She is like faux fur
Trimming his collars
For adventure.
But the daughter
She bore him
Out of wedlock
Real enough.

I really feel something for her
Little girl.
Whose eyes are wide innocent
Wounds
Knife stabs suppressing
Blood tears.
She knows unlike my six year
old man /baby?
Adults are not fair
Daddy isn't so nice.

I cannot flow my river of love
For her.
Why? Because I'm too
Worldly wise.
We take care of possessions
But don't toy with the
Sentiments of others.

Next year we'll buy a house
And move...

Then I have to forget about the
Mother and child.

She is also cunning and creative with accounts
Sending her marketing I have
Figured out her ploys
Simply a maternal mouse
Foraging for some bits to line her scanty nest.
I'm not very nice.
I give her extras gifts and
Tips to make her my friend and
Then make her account for even
Pennies spent
To keep her on her toes.
To walk a mile in her shoes
Would have made my soul
Scream and scream
Suicide a pleasant dream

The silence is broken
By her insistent ring
Upon the doorbell.
Eager cry to be let in
Employment her
Only dream.

The Hill

If I come to you
Howling in pain
If I come
Will you hold my hand?

If my tears don't drop
But redden my eyes
Will you close their lids
With kisses
And let them fall?

If my heart bleeds
If my heart grows heavy
If in darkness
My head grows heavy
Will you hear me
Will you lighten my life
Will you smile
And laugh
And take my trembling face
Begging for love
In your two hands?

I write this, knowing you will not
I have lost myself
In a love that's lost
You're gone beloved
I'm erased defaced
None can ease this pain
Ever again.

And you're my goodbye
You're my farewell kiss
My curtain call
My poetic bliss
My expressed grief
Articulation's
Sad relief.

You're not mine
Not there
Not now
The you I love
Is living in my mind
And the other You
Who the whole world knows
Is not there with me
Anymore.

Will you be tender
Will you take this mind
Bless it kiss it blow it
Curse me with all your
Might?

Till I don't want to love you anymore
Till I don't want to sleep outside
your door.
Till I can turn my back on you.
And climb up the hills of my dead hopes
Over it to
Tumble down sweet virgin slopes
Of a could've been
That never can be
Disappear forever from
Your view?

Maybe in the brave act of crossing
I will be able to forget you
Forgiveness was easy to achieve
But memory clings like an obstinate child clinging for support to parent....
But you're not my caregiver and
Just not there
For me.

Honey love melts me
To hope
But love cannot be solicited.

You're not alive to my presence
Or attuned to my dreams...
Forgetting is not an option
So it seems
You're forever.
You're my memories
From now on.

Each goodbye I write to you
Is one step more
Another degree of separation

And one day I promise
I will
Disappear over the horrizon....

When your new dawn will arise
Without me.
I will be then
In a tomorrow that's beyond your scope of reach.

This is the only way...
Walking with hollow shells of
Some empty dreams
In my pockets.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Eternity Rings

This is my week's personal mission to write only sensuous erotic poetry.
So here goes again. Seriously I can only do this on some forums...Grinning...feels comfortable here.
Btw...this should have been 2 poems.....but I guess I was carried away.

Eternity Rings

Quest.

A spoonful of light
Kisses your mellow honey gold
skin and meeting my eyes
Melts me to
Magnanimous lava
In drunken
delirium...

Your silhouette
In the sun's profusion
fine etched
Beaten bronze and gold
Adamantine
Demi god
You summon impossible
Dreams
Fetching surreal
Surroundings
...

Your
Redolent smile
Plots my surrender

I'm drawn
Stubborn against your
Frisson's zone
Dumb iron
To your forceful magnetic field.

Bewitching Flora
Richest fauna
Drip down dewy lashes
Indolent aspirations. ..

An intoxicating oasis shimmers in seraphine dawn
My parched lips
Drink you like
Oblivion.

shimmering resonant mirage
I sip you Midas man
You're my Holy grail

After Effects.

I'm bubbly joy simmering ecstasy
Draped enfolded in your stonehenge hold.
Feverish at first sight
ardent for shelter
Beneath your byzantine
shadow is my
Succour
O sweet Savior
From Samaria.

Copperfield eyes....polished
Beams, like steeped still
Lightning streams
Deliver dull burnished lies.
My vision
Ravished
bent, forages forceful entry
To solicit your gentle ruthless gleam...
Your gaze fixed high over horrizons unseen.
Pity cannot be elicited.

Tears lava withheld
From far off plains
Course through my
Command center
controls my being
But desire drops
Inside like dead weight
dumb waiter down my
deep well of undoing.

Abdication increases
My flame to flamboyant
Pyromania.
My fire starter's soul
explodes
Exuberance of
November's fifth.

Your spare purist frame
Is missionary
Inspirational.
Ascetic and agile
You're my sainted phoenician
Take care of this
My rosary
Of bacchanalian beads.

Binding my afterlife to hellfire of
Yearnings.
Wild to be captured in your slendermost caress
Reined in and ruined by svelte lithe
wrists
speaking soft slanderous determination
To encircle my wanton waist wincing in blind wanting.

Oblivious to shyness or fear
Firm to tether me where I tremble untouched.
Each blue vein on your arms swells scorning my timid reticence...
With intricate zeal.

Retrospect .

You're a pretty boy... you strike a pretty pose
Your indifferent slouch against subdued half lights
Speaks volumes
Of calm arrogance
Carelessly flaunting raw elegance manly grace
And by being just so
utterly apathetic
remote and inaccessible
Cool beyond touch
You superconduct
My divergent orchestra
You fill up the firmament of
my vacant space.

I could kiss your receding form....trace my lips of softest velour on delicate lace...attaching to
the most unlikely place...

My mouth is hot lotus blossoms seeking to sponge your feet
Warm blisters seeking bliss
Wasting for your kisses.
Burning acid rain to brush your
Tapered finger tips
Crumpling to crushed velvet at the
base of your chiffon throat
whose feline pulsation throbs shadows from ether to bas relief
maddening my heartbeat
To arrhythmic effervescent scorching grief.

semi cognizant of my diffident trance
Love leaps out of makeshift boundaries copious to be in tandem with your dance
Crazy to be your burnt offering
Flowing fast downstream
In copious currents
Beyond comprehension.

I seek to submit
Melt this tender will
to ashes,
In your intense crucible.
Let me
Discard identity
And disappear
Into Your
Being.

Forever is not enough
Far too little time

I seek out
The tenuous connection
That's beyond
Eternity

The quantum entanglement
Of you and me
In every possible
way

In every possible world
And Dimension.

Transference of
Intangibles from
Transience.

Byzantine Dark

With love and gratitude to my muse Flloyd Brown

Byzantine Dark

Carnal fire
crimson desire
stoked slowly
turn of Gyre
Open the door
unhook the stile
I have breached my Limits
the extra mile.
Taken too far
stark hedonist heart
carried away
to Byzantine Dark.
I'm fickleness itself
false Fanciful lace
floating glass Spread
thy grace.manifesting
A toy on a string
a yo -yo swinging dangling
yearning thus burning tingling singe
aroused by sting of a Scorpion King.
And I love it this way
my Passive consent
your hands on my reins
my will force contained.
My life force spent
as you have ordained.
symbolic chains and the real ones
sustaining remain

Distillate

With love and gratitude to Flloyd Brown

Distillate

In most high places
unexpected graces
purified essence
dreary distillate.
The skies swollen
with my disgust
the earth crackling precipices
ground under my feet Desolate.
A vast nothingness
opening maws terrific
the walls around my heart secreting despair.
the grindstone of fate beckoning nether
Crushes mere ruses
crushed defeated heart
held out as offering
to sacrificed idols of dust.
Serendipitous happenstance I chanced upon your writ
my reluctance naught as change was wrought
changeling within the enigma enraptured
Returned to point of innocent origin
Kiss of the true king
Holy most seraphim enlightened blessing
I was twice born again
rebirth through his testing
My Teacher my master
in tears lessons learnt
I am here thus renewed.
Here am I Aaras created by you
Everlasting life darkness dazzling disallowing blinders
Incision of pain mercilessly kind
amorous amazing mortifying grace
sublime revelations this is blowing my mind

Incubus Angel

Inspired and assisted by my muse Flloyd Brown ♡

Incubus Angel

How will I reveal
Purple raging with pink
Passionate hot ink spilling for you
forging unbreakable links.
Crying the sheets wet
to be consumed within your serpentine sheath
enveloped I am caressed to arousal
lashed by sensuous thorn of laurel wreath
Victor of my stolen life
heralding mysteries of my fate.
my heart murmurs fatal
method to mastery knell of sweet death.
Deliciously inspired In soft honey glow
luxurious radiance that you have bestowed.
obliterate the veil my secret boudoir
deadly nightshade gathering dribbled vestiges of starlight
Playing with love
flagellated heart
the sweet heat Inside
courting the touch of thine art.
Take me into
you make me this frail message
A crumpled dirty love note
trampled in your passage.
Corridors of pain
may they never end
Till the sun shines its pall of brilliance
or want unfulfilled too generously satiated
My mind is a secluded room
it's window Lit by your searing lamp
on its fretwork false ceilings
strangest shadow dancers clamp
Lips pouting torn in two
bruised flowers hue gone blue
death kiss of black incubus angel
rips my restless heart through..
I'm caressed I'm harnessed
Caught in your lacy web
devoid of soft artifice
I kneel in abandon
abject heaving ravenous

Tenebris Devotione

With deepest respect and gratitude to Flloyd Brown

Tenebris Devotione

Imagination desecration
dark devotion
deathly emotions devouring deviate
Your lotus eyes in repose
your darkest dreams
Innate apostolic fantasies
Creation
visceral visions
slithering serpentine notions
gems raking pillaged passions faithfully fecund in dormancy
Tormented
A whimpering beast driven
lost in lust awakenings
desolate days numbered six and sixty
Ageless enthrallment
eternal dominion
ring of fire my ashes glinting in the air
Above the embers of my pyre
denials of debutante demurred
blurred dying blue flames slurring
I rise Phoenix out of putrid shame
I rise borne upon wings of avenging angel
the cock croweth thrice thy dark portal
My Dread Lord thy nightmare raging gothic passion
emblazoned in the scrolls of my lascivious heart
livid burning ethreal bushes In gardens gory Gethsemane
Arise from dreams noblest sovereign
my chest buds crimson flowers of life
renewed sensuous succumbing
Rebirth incumbent I will not deny
no blood money no feared punishment no jeers of shame
servant unswerving Where lies My Lord Aaras
therein grace His succubus stays.

Ions

Ions gleaming through
Air
Sparkly fairy dust
Tinting painting glinting
romantic notions. ....
Inhale exhale..
Love...
Angelic fascination feckless
Romance belts strapping Orion
Across mystical skies...
Evening hangs like anticipation coloring the air...
Breathe in...and out...

My eyes are translucent conductors
Skin soaking up atmosphere
Limbs soaring supple and free...

Nightfall....
Stars gleam...pregnant with mysterious foreknowledge
Trap doors to
Distant ancestral dreams
Beacons fountainheads
Herald the unknowable. ..

Unknowingly
My soul is filled with
Vespers
Mosques and churches with
Resounding gong deep solemn notes of church bells and the Muezzin
Have serenaded passage of
Ancient Gods traversing
Concealed dream portals
Through cloudy cities
Earth glowing reverent at their feet...
A sacrificial lamb
Lambent aglow with
Inspiration...expiration. ..

The universe
Fossilized sentience
Hibernating Great Bear
Cavernous gluttonous pit
Every home and heart lit with tribute
Ions floating in air collect hidden secrets of sundry heart
Rise annointed angels
Express delivery
To such heroic hideous hapless heavens...
Quiet and pregnant with
Predestination.

Chimera Leaves

Chimera leaves shedding
Heaped on
My mind's floor
today
Silver and gold flakes...

Where is the torch....
I held sky high
Sacred flame
Ignite

We will watch the fire dance
And our memories
Crackle and hiss at fate
Spitfires of doused regrets...

A falling leaf surreal slow motion denies the pull of death
Diagonally
A sliver a tear a chrysalis in the winds
Of forgotten circumstances...

Silver and gold
Piles of chimera leaves
Spread out
Laying on the floor
Of my mind's
magical carpet
Rustling softly ...gentlest
Caress

We shall rake you another
Day.

The Bonfire of
Human bondage
Binding contract...

Thus...
We shall celebrate.

Oh...How...

Oh How....

How I miss you. ..I wish you a world of happiness
The kind of lonely lovely place
An openness
The heart has plateaus...
On such a sunny plateau
On a great day the two of us
Must embrace
And let it rest.
The music fades my love
The trees revolve
Horizons carousel
An emptiness so beautiful
The sky is falling
In blue-whiteness
What eternal vastness
Immensity of space
In the heart that has learnt to say
"Goodbye"
Meet you in foreverness...

Not So Pretty

Disenchanted

Pretty girl
With a nice face
Behave my doll
Show it off
But stay in place
your intact grace
Don't lose face.

Go ahead
Dream big
But always take permission
Fill out the form
Prerequisites
Stand tall
Upon the terrestrial ball
Wobbling rolling balancing
Juggling onerous duties
Do it all...

Smile pretty girl
World your tempting
Oyster
Life your palate
Gulp in the tangy salacious
Succulence
Salt it with tears
Inside accumulate.

Choking on choice
Finding your voice
Told to succumb so
Bow and play dumb.

The world a soccer field
Of Blood thirsty games
Men guard jealously
The Goalposts of gain...

You're a pretty girl
Honey you're rolling
Towards the good times
If you're willing to play ball
Baffling
Scuffling
what
Messy rapture
Brief momentous insane capture
Sheer Coveted prize
But you're the price
And the momentum of your
Life
is determined by the throw
Of their dice.

Sometimes you're the ball
Kicked and tossed about
For others to score...
The Goal
Ends it all
And you're just used rubber
Shredded
To your core.

Rider...Trinities

Rider....
Trinities...

Human beings need their Gods to come in threes.
Call it the Holy Trinity.
Brahma Vishnu Maheshwar
Father Son the Holy Ghost
All the better to appease.

Like a rider in the contract
That can make amends
For breach of promise...
Unbreakable rules
Slyly bend or blend.

One is lonely
A secret well kept.
Two is conjugal
A pretty love nest
But
Three is a conspiracy
To alter the text...
crowded confusion
The mind to
Annex.

We need doubt and mystery
A clause of release
His burden of divinity
We try to appease

So we rationalize and aggrandize
The powers that be...
No impeachment ever
For contractual breach..
But mystery upon mystery
Piled over pea grain
Of Truth
Incredible answers
Our anxiety sooths.

The soothsayers mock the
Naysayers
And right back at you
Preachers and teachers
Need disciples too...

The first clause ....

Alpha

The last...

Omega

In between this life
And if in our image
Shouldn't God have a wife?

Should we be worshippers
Did we ask for this state
If Death be the gateway
To an afterlife
So wondrous and great...

And living an examination
That perforce we take
Then to crossover to paradise
can, and should
answers be faked?

If Hell is an option ...
Please do
Keep heaven at bay
For the path is too steep
We're mere befuddled sheep
And this leap of faith
You want us
To take
An act
forbidden by
Free Will...
killing
The Life
the Truth
The Way.

The Holy Gods
Or unholy ones
Sons oftchance
Of future
Alien Spawn...

Creation a dream
Or a concrete event...
Worshipping
Merely an Impassioned
Vent.

I release the fifth rider
Of this uncertain clause
Apocalypse
Thankful am I
To have Lived
Till Death
Endstops my pause.

Wild wondrous sun set
Sacred Sifr moon rise
Holy sunclad hills...leafy trees align...
Allelouia Allelouia
My heart is in tears...
For such beauty abrades
Allays all fears...

The Divine dust nascent nebulous universe
Glimmers and sparks
Creation annihilation
Electric jubilant arc.

We're pathways...
Shining the dark...
Streaming screaming
agonies of birth
Slivers of ciphers of
Reflected
Light travels hard
On our arched backs...
Backpackers of Fate
Lost
In existential cracks..
And we
Are the meaning,
The answers
The universe lacks.

Soft Focus

This is not a beautiful poem...
These are my ramblings on Space Time Creation...

Soft Focus

Pierce the veil
My igneous eyes
I want to
I have to see
More than what's
In front
Of me...
No...Gods
False
Frontiers...
Smoggy horizons.

There's a reason that seeks
Crying out loud
Existence
Define me.

We are born...
Life goes on.
Then season finale
Death...

After thousands of years
Has mortality evolved to this?

A comet streaks at lightning speed
Or just the light from it...
The universe cooks cosmic buns
In its cavernous oven...
Slow food for thought.

The scene
Is past...a setting from the day before the day before
What is seen
A smokescreen.

The Heavens that witness bore
To creation...
Our lives on this little planet
Lit by its small sun
Smart and absurd.

Perchance
People on a far away planet
In the future,
Are witnessing us now
From distant quadrants of
Future universes.

The heavens
render Time
Non sequitur
Space becoming a stage in motion
For Lord Chronos.

Temporal vision
Spatial abstraction
Tell me
Who designed
This grand deception?

Methinks thou art
Unduly shy
Come forward
Now
Take a bow.

Soft Nothings

I'm so soft
The frost in your voice
Makes me feel lonely
Lost in the void

And I'm so hard
When you discard me
In rejection's armor
I'm alloyed.

I have been lonely
Best days of my life
Sitting in the bedroom
Of my cloistered mind
I have laughed and
Have cried...

Those childhood terrains
Soft formative plains
Have rivers of emotions
Hard swollen blue veins.
And laughter like snowflakes
Brushed off my pain.

Your flints of disgust
Your fundamental lust
The chips raining down
Make the right choices
Or this will go bust

But I'm glad if it's gone
You see
I was never alone
The mind that I carry
Carries a throne

There sits in shadows
A king
Of sweet pain
The keys to my kingdom
Hands back again

No one has the right
To enter my mind
Lock it up
And throw away the key
My love is strong not blind

In the fall of my rejection
In the casting away
In the truth of disaffection
I'll find another way

Another approach
The truth I will broach
Then the lock unturned
Together we open each other
The keys to return
Mine opened up you
And yours mine
Did turn...

Stone me with hatred
Inflicting pain...
This heart sponge soaks
It
But wringes again
Rising higher stronger
Than ever you will
I wish you much love....
Beyond ordained Nihil.

Cruel

If I cry anymore
I'll go mad
so I stock up on my tears
Saving them I suppose
For a day of uncontrolled
unabridged rain...

Unable to shed it
When the day arrives
My tears
Turned to a philosopher's stone...
In endometrial folds
exposure to moonlit madness
Causing occult blood
Decaying the desecrated soul
provides no healing.

I want to shed a single tear
A simple soul drenched tear...

But this mouth of mine
Decomposed corpse like
Turns upwards outwards
Into the fetching rictus of a
Smile......

The Clock

Sorry...something has gotten to me...

Clock

My skin's delicate
Things get under it
Jarring harassing winding down
My inner mechanism
Coiling in tensed serpentine fashion

I must meditate
Get out of this state
My body's howling
In foreign tongues
Perhaps in other countries
I would be known
As a condition

Self diagnosis self healing
Crystals purify me
Water downed reversed Fountainhead of knowledge
Life giving elixir

I must understand eliminate
The cacophony the wailing
Of the mourner behind my music
The practiced lament in my speech

And I think people would say that I think too much
And I need to sleep
Have happy android dreams
About annoying sheep

Aah...such depths the profound may plumb
The umbral shadows break silence
And scream
Don't dumb me down...
This life in the penumbra
Half light and shadows
Is Halloween existence

Take me thither
Beyond graven netherworld
From whence I may arise
Never
To see blue skies
Or electric dreams

In the distant star studded galaxies
Light is the rare visitor
Darkness then
Is our only option
Business behind the
Tombstone...

Yet such a sunny epitaph
When you recall me
With a little jerk

And hearken my name
All shadows lighten then

Part of the pact.
Party gets over....
And dearly departed
Is the fact
Beloved your
price on request
Required
For existence...
It's isolating angst..

To Be A Poet

To be a poet is a terrible thing

To be a living breathing being
To eat to sleep to dream mundane lying
Amorphous yet crystalline
Fine etched and tightly wound
Slow to change yet swift to respond
Far more hurt to receive than give
The soul crucified the heart forgives
The art is a single part
Yet the sum of the tawdry sundry parts
Greater than the whole
Sometimes I think the poet
Usurping light
Becomes black hole...

And the best of his hideous heart
Released as finest distillate
Misunderstood and misinterpreted
In an alien universe.

The Temple of Fear

The Temple of Fear.

Timidity's sacred temple was erected.
The inner child bewildered hiding her hurt
Behind stone walls...
Sandstone and sandalwood incense
Built on quicksand sinking
Inwards...succumbing
On the brink of the precipice
Of chances not taken
Swinging out through
Trapdoor of eternity.

Life's peaks....shunned
Ferociously
Fear breeds ferocity
Downwards dizzying fall
Eyes shut...blinking
Comatose shrieking
In morse code
Someone help
Save our soul...

Temerity's temple on the quagmire leaching... see sawing on the sandbanks of surrender
Little girl has locked herself in
Knows the keys
Are not beyond her reach.

The shelf of disaster. ..
Must be stood upon
To reach the skylight
Of hope.
Sweet escape beckons
Still in darkness
She gropes

There's no easy way out
Of this
Temple of Timidity.

Temerity smiles...shrugging her shoulders.
She is deity of deities
In the dark sanctum sanctorum
Of the temple.

Still digging in her heels
Dreaming of worm holes and
underground escape routes
She claws in the dirt...
And hopes.

Duh...Monkey

I sit head down legs crossed for meditation
The cold floor robs me of heat
Earthing my energy for its surreptitious transactions. ..
Eyes like eager peas bursting out of their pod
Oh God
How to surrender my will
I'm owned consumed by stuff
Stuffing me till I
Leak inanity from every seam.
Bubble wrapped in invidious priorities
Green tea or black
Rice or noodles
Pasta or chow mein
Woollens first or linen
Pen and paper or cell...
Poetry or prose
Or nonsense. ...

To bed then
But burrowing into my
Pillow trying hard to find that comfortable niche
I focus my eyes onto the blind spot
The locus of oblivion
The far pavillion is in my face
Blocking visions of stellar space
piling up onboard the dais
scurrying onstage
ants carrying baggage
I thought
Lost or unclaimed.

Some salvation army type ant
Air drops me an aid package...
I catch its fall like a greedy monkey
unwrapping eager for help...
It says
Try meditation.

Or Not At All

I want my love to reflect your soul
I want it all or not at all
I want to be the beam of light
That shapes the shadow of your plight
I want to be both time and space
At the point where infinity meets with grace

I want to see the surf the ebb and tide
Of your wildest sorrows. ...
And be the ride
That dancing upon the frothy waves
Seduces fear with siren gaze

I crave your love to feed my soul
to be my all
My first my last
Or not at all.

Babylon

Babylon...pleasurous retreat
I want to write you so bad
But my loving ink is held back
I cannot bear it to be shed
On paper
It is shining...dead.

Let my love remain virgin
Everything alive trembling
Tumultuous ...water falls in the brain...
Soft thoughts slither south
The uncoiling serpent held in

Meadows of seduction knolls of grassy contemplation...cloudy benediction
Leaves rustle my unrest...
Yet softly whisper vespers..

Feathery tendrils... joy floats high
With ease
Black fingers of unease disturbing.

I watch the soulful wind play
Upon my feelings
melodious fanciful pleas...pliant violin.

My fingertips extend...my hair streams...
The ground is my heart wet
With tears...
Pockets of divinity blaze through
Patchworks of sky...

Rushing into my vaccum...
An insane affinity internally
rises up...

from fretworked crevices
Of unknowable aspiration.

I'm infinite shells..
Hollow dolls within
Dolls...
And at my core
a lithe dancing pagan
Dark with misery
gyrates its salutations
Feasting upon
Life
Zest fully.

Nor am I satiated
Or the hunger appeased
Life short and sweet
I will not sin
Against you...
I am the living beat
Pulse...drum...
Light giving darkness
Irradiating heat...

I am.

Afterlife fades
In comparison
to the Now
The lucid simplicity of my
dangerous awareness
My momentous dance
Staged by this Universe...
Ends...
Not in anger
Not in deliverance
Not in futile promises
But in throbbing
Sorrow...
Exhilarating impermanence
My fragile existence.

For Slop poetry challenge Some Like it Hot

Some Like it Hot

White teeth baring automatic heat signs of arousal
Surreptitious bait...
Singeing your flesh
How are you...I'll try to contain this
but I see you're staring...

Veiled eyes corner you
Mesmerizing hot
slinking crocodile
Brain besotting
Flap of tail....
reptilian taut.

And you can barely breathe
Hot and bothered
Above her prim prissy collar
Flashing her insatiable smile
Lips reddened widening to voracious pout

No turning around
While her eyes shoot soft orbs
Pyromaniacal game
Devouring ....savoring
Your contagious flames
The room is red
Like her hot cheeks
The glimpse of her valley..
The curves of her hips...

Hello....with a timid catch in her throat. ..
She is sly suppressing the voluptuous abandonment sought.
Smoke simmers and sizzles your senses in fumes from her veins....
She slips in and slides out
Through the slipstream of currents
Warm pangs of sweet pain..

Trips over your notions....
A decimating push
ripping reins
Of propriety
staging your social ambush...

You're sold ....to an houri
Fulsome and lush...
Who never bought into
need
Gave more
than anything you've got
With no pretenses no holding back...
Because
Some like it hot...

The Write

The write is wincing inside
System of pulleys and winches....turning.
I have an urgent need to throw up
On paper
Get intimate with
Thought.
Such close encounters
Make me a piercing hawk
Sniffing prey
Silent game
From lofty heights of detachment.
The bizarre intensity
Circling and swooping
Over
Soon to be dead meat
Kills. ..

The
Hunter is hunted by
This business of
Endings.
When, to close a door
Means another gapes wide
Maws maniacal vicious clatter of teeth
No respite.
Better to throw every muscle
Into polished coordination
Leap on to the prey
Going in for the jugular
A soft rapid kill..
.
The pen however is the best weapon of the contrary mind.
It brandishes convoluted armor
Swaggering it's attitude
It flourishes whimsical squiggles
Of fancy
And dances a juggernaut of provocation on paper
Never appeased till
Its secret boat of burdens and dreams have set sail...
To sink or swim
In mid ocean...

Running

Running through Time
Running shoes soggy
Running on parted rivers
Running against
crimes. ...
In every clime.

Climb beyond
The fallen plains
The rising moon
The static dunes
The Red dust roads
The dolorous mounds
Running harder than
Your elastin bounds...

Running into
Time's runway
Ascension
The outer stars
Leaving
This layer of love
This envelope
This stillborn song
Behind.

Begone
My foolish eyes
My morbid sighs
The inner death wish
That longs to live...
That lives to die.

So long
Island of Earth
Atlantis of nothing but
Notions
Logic fairness
Fairies and feelings. ..

So long!
Sinful tenderness
Goodbye maddening
kindness...
Adiós
Humanity...
Thy city
Raises its palms
To painted clouds...

My soul divine....
Running. ...
Eclipses
Time's
Paternal shadow.

And runners
Of the blades
grassroot dreams
Glass Top distended
Towards
Totality breaking out

On standby
Fuel supply
Running out
Running out
of steam
Far Away
From home
In between
the devil and deep space.

You know how it all ends
Callously
Eyeballs bursting
Brain jelly exploding
Streamers festooning
An unearthly space
A cold infinite unawareness.

Number One
Infinitesimal
The end days of
Reckoning
Can't be numbered.
Be done
Begone
This safe protected dome
Fishbowl
Of glistening affectations
Sharks are free rangers
Affectionate notions deranged and dissolute
Be gone
I want real....
Tear up this contract
I never signed
And redeem
Not my life
One way pact
But redeem
And atone
your lies.

Running shoes on
Skating on obtuse obdurate skies
Slate blue gravity laden
Running naked skin silk against heaven
Gravity's heavy
Pull paling fades. ..
Running ageless
Against time....
Adversary space.

Tapestry

Scrolling the silver tapestry
Sacred
Richly adorned
Wealth of wisdom
Patterned grace
A different place
Everything falling together
darkness woven through spun gold myth...
Intrinsic sense..
I'm drawn to thee
Given free
There's nothing beyond this
Dark ecstasy...festering fantasy
Ornate ornamental floats...

Scrolling down the festive cavalcade
Plague of doves
Amazing grace in Rainbow
Macaus..gaudy greens and startling blues
It's a masque ball...
Of domination...
Receiving homage
The subjugated sing praise
Pleasurous fall of light
Apalling...grace

Inherent .... spiritual rise
Mystical fall
for your glory
lasting is all...
Tangential army of
Lilliputs strive to fight
Eking out existence
Blooming blood flowers
On your tapestry sensual delight...

And across the feral iron skies
Aron flies
Bold eagle....taunting
Mighty Ra
Sol
Graceful Apollo
Without apology
Swooping through axes
Changing elevation
The elegant falls of the rich brocade
Delicate daemon possesed.

Rich intricate carvings...
Gratuitous lace
Thunderbolt epiphanies
Shadowy nooks and corners
Soporific.
...
Everything ever imagined dreamt desired portentous ominous uncanny
Contained in the fulminating flashing flames white hot terrible foresight....
The tapestry is all in all
Death proofing action
Grand design dealing out
Culmination of life.

Insano

You're insanity rippling inside me like fine raw silk...
Papyrus whispers rustling in through the trellises...
Sandstone sunset...
And creeping tendrils crawl...
Turning water into wine...
Rust red slothful vine.

This entry is a breach
Premises vacated long ago...
Turned misanthrope
against misogyny.

Yet this morning at breakfast
I found the cereal box denuded
Milk had become clotted
From constant stirring.
Someone else who was not
My house guest...
Who?
What...? Why..?
And when?

My mind is putting up walls so fast...
The intruder imprisoned. ..
Eyes lidded to light
To ensure better insight
Thrill of the chase.

The perimeter wall exists to prevent trespassing. ..
And now it guards us both

The lunatic and would be escapist...
But I think
I have lost track...
Who is which?

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