The One

The One

My dear it's only for you I put pen to paper or else
I would watch the pretty clouds in the afternoon skies
After a shower of rain
The soft sunset would stir past pangs
Perhaps even heartrending angst
But in distant echoes.
Pain on paper
Conducting the same
A detached aloof wizardry
From moving pen.

But
No more
Now the ink cries and cries
Longs to scratch and scrawl
Abrade the paper and the world
Lovingly humbled it crawls
Filling up space so fast
Thoughts are not allowed
But emotions outlast
Rationality.

If not for you my dear
I would not fear to grow old
I would welcome the passing of an age a phase
I would love my life
Contemplative
In it's fall years.

But so hard so hard your ruthless hold
My heart emboldened
Refuses  to let the sun set
Without a walk upon the beaches
With you my love
And aging gracefully is a ludicrous notion
Put on hold.

The ocean sways and rears
To the tangy breeze
Its shores sprinkle sand
Pity upon my feet
I hear every cell inside
all of me
Calling begging
enduring beyond endurance
For the glimpse
Of a lifetime.

I have never been there
Please take me
Where fear leaves
And hope grows
Where are you?

My two hands
Have never been held
Tightly
With tenderness.

Now I bow
Before the lamp
It's night
And scrawl my unreal dreams
Shuddering strokes on paper emblazoned with pen

Yesterday I wrote about what I saw without me
Which I then felt
Within and expressed

Today
Awake I'm
To write tomes
The sense of a
Love unseen...
And which will not be suppressed.

You don't exist and the poetry does
My mind awakened
How hard it is
To have a view a glimpse
Of the  highest deepest reach
The scopes of emotions the lofty peaks.
And know that you walk alone
Into the fading sun in a world of glistening sand
Upon a trodden beach

My footprints find the way
Forward.
Looking back
Even that's erased.

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(c) Amrita Valan 2015