Because I Love You Like That

Love love love
Immortalized me
Because thoughts die
And words die unless
Preserved for posterity.

Actions are fleeting
Time is a movie screen
Everyone of us know
Feelings of love
Are not
Called for.

You may from birth to death
Live
You breathe
eat and sleep
You form herds to survive
Based on affinity
You learn more
Empathize
As you sense common needs
Aspiring to security
Comfort safety.

The unknown scares us
So death the final scene
Becomes a common bond
United in fear
We learn to revere
And create Religion
And Gods.

Death  creates a desire
For perpetuation
Our hard earned knowledge
Becomes a library
A relic we hand over
To our offspring

What is this Love?
Our miniatures
Create wellspring of affection
In breasts
Human kindness flows
Desire to protect provide
Admire rear..
Arise.

But I ask you again
What is this love?

This strange awe
This fullblooded awesome fear for their future
This gentle sorrow
This great beauty of mad loving
This gigantic magnificent pity
That awakes in us

Bigger and better than
All of us
Where every tear we gulp down daily
Throttling taut fright
down our pallid throats...

Where longing becomes art
A thing of beauty
Where we know
The gentle little lives
We're kneading into shape
Are malleable clay
We are each moment
making or breaking

Also the darkest hours
Reveal last hours
Of our lives
A deep dark scarred insight
Like second skin
knowledge unsheathing itself
Unspeakably.

This dear darling
baby boy
View through the
Withering glass
Projections
Of his deathbed...

I will not be there to sooth his wilted age.

When I'm mere history shelved
In wreaths of cobwebs
Glistening through helpless glass  walls
He will
Lie
As if in peace

His face lined and skin taut
With careworn pain
Fine veined translucent again
Frail porcelain shell
Wheezing in sleep
Just as he does
Now
My little angel...

Sweet baby sleep
You
Will have grandchildren
Too
If lucky enough
In love ...
You will watch the deathwatch
And worry your heart like this.
You will
Love too.

What's me loving you
And you loving me?
Will no record of it exist?

I don't mean children...
Think...
are they our answer
To death?

With hard labor
We bring them to labor
Through life.
we call it
Our labor of
Love.

Love is a terrible flame
Never light it
You can't snuff it out
Again

Only life does that
With
Cruel swift mercy
Death.

My child soak up the
Lullabies.

Life is lovely cradle of death..

Crazing chasing razing
the very sentience it creates.

The depth of our feelings is
Fire unconsumed
Deeper
Than the deepest core of the
Depthless bleak universe

Stretching into eerie
Emptiness under the lonesome street lights
The road runs on...

Perhaps we will never
Meet again?
Though how much this heart
May break with the love it spills
Churning its blood into
Streams of vivid adoration

Though it
Might take lifetimes without number
An infinity to declare fulfilled

And though
All that time mirrors and channels are
Illusions of itself

And a second under the sun
Is life well lived
For a microbe
And a Brahma
Only dreams...

Life is going to remove these tags
Rob us of identities
Labels removed willy nilly

And whether in Brahma's dream we meet and merge
Or pass by
Without recognition
of each other's
Vital touch..

You will never be you
I will never be me to each other In the  lifegiving
Embrace of womb black night...

Your warmth that replenishes me...
Temporal unsustainable Instabilty...
Sheer insanity
That keeps us sane
It will run down deplete
run away from us
Then
why and how
Do you love like that
My love?

I hear it
High above my howling
Heart
Where a mighty wolf rages
At a dead disc moon...

I hear it
Like a faint echo strengthening to fade...

And something somewhere heals
I hear you say

Because
I love you, my Love
Like that.

I know we're bound
to meet.

All rights reserved
(c) Amrita Valan 2014