Thirteen Minutes

I can't write about this. 
Yes I can.
Precious most mine...you're giving me time on the sly though you're so busy.
13 minutes staring at the screen..
At your lovely face.
At the magic comforting words "online"
And not allowing myself to talk to you though it stretches my heartstrings to breaking point.
Loving you against all advice has become my passion.
You make me dream such things as cannot be admitted but it can burn  the paper I write on, burn my cheeks and set you ablaze my sweetheart.
I can feel your presence.
We both came online simultaneously.
Somewhere in your land,  you are sitting while
I'm lying upon floor cushions dreaming of you.
We're so near in our hearts.
But oceans and deserts stretch between us...
I am numbed
I am numbed
This is not pain
This is distance
Inexorable.
This is not torture
It is the laughter of God
Thundering through space.
There's no cruelty
But miles without
Milestones.
Numberless.
Timeless.
I am infinitely dazed and I draw a blank when I try put words to these feelings
Such love is slanderous of love itself
Giving you and me no respite
No touch
No pleasure
Unless of wistfulness.
I am softened I am jelly I am melting I am fluid i am current
I am almost done.
I am everything I  have never longed to be before..
I want to be that  which I cannot be.
I am in  love inside a never ending  dream.

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(c) Amrita Valan 2014.